Toronto Diary
2 min

Marriage equality, indie rock and acceptance through assimilation

Indie rock magazine Under the Radar is currently running its protest issue, about musicians who are trying to make a difference in the world. Hey, if John Lennon and Yoko Ono can change the world by staying in bed, Tegan and Sara can help raise awareness about the necessity of marriage equality.

Anyway, the article starts out promisingly enough, with the aforementioned lesbian folk-rock twins discussing why they refuse to get married while our neighbours to the south are forced to go without . . .

I just don’t feel it’s fair, and it makes me feel so sad. I don’t feel like I should benefit. And while I will fight to have that right in America, I absolutely do not feel I have to get married right now, no.

However, that’s somewhat undercut by Jonny Pierce from The Drums saying that he wants gay pride parades to end because he’s tired of how they portray the queer community:

I’m ready for gay pride parades to end. I’m ready for big, flamboyant prideful events to go away forever. I know there’s probably a lot of people who think that’s disgusting. But every time that I think that my parents might be taking a step in the direction of acceptance of me being gay, there’s slight little hints they might be opening up every once in a while, and then the door just slams closed . . . Why are we “proud” to be gay and why would straight people be proud to be straight? When we draw attention to these things, whether we’re rebuking them or celebrating them, it pulls them out of the realm of being normal. And all I’ve ever wanted was to be normal.

Let’s discuss this.

I don’t have a problem with Pierce wanting to be perceived as normal. I mean, granted, the guy’s part of an indie rock band, so the idea of normalcy has probably already sailed for him, but still, a steady, normal life has its perks.

What irks me is the idea that queer people can be accepted into society, but only if they act just like everyone else in society. Yes, not every gay guy is effeminate and glittery, but the fact that some of us in the community are shouldn’t be used as an excuse to strip us of our rights. The idea of acceptance shouldn’t be based on conforming to heteronormative mannerisms; it should be about acknowledging those differences and giving others the same respect you give to anyone else.

Some people are butch, some people are queeny. Who gives a living fuck? Unless the way other people live their lives actually affects your life, chill out.

(Quotes via

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