Alan Turing
2 min

Meanwhile, in straight: hot rowers, Leonardo DiCaprio and bestiality in the UK

BY ROB SALERNO – Straight people: they fascinate us. With their mysterious division of roles between genders, their inability to recognize the sexual orientation of a handful of iconic celebrities without the help of the latest Google app, and their insistence on including “How to Please Her” sex advice columns in muscle magazines that are clearly published for gay men.

But did you also know that straight people can be sexually attractive?

American rower Megan Kalmoe has been compiling annual lists of the 20 hottest male rowers since 2008, and she’s gathered them all into a steamy video for us.

Perving on the rowers, divers, swimmers, gymnasts and Greco-Roman wrestlers is half the fun of the Olympics (the other half being the pageantry of the opening and closing ceremonies), and it’s nice to know that straight people enjoy it, too. And doesn’t that speak to our common humanity?

Perhaps not, according to a Conservative town councillor in England, who criticized Prime Minister David Cameron’s announcement that he supports gay marriage by saying “we may as well legalize marriage with animals” over Twitter.

The UK Conservative Party has chastised Councillor James Malliff over the tweet, for which Malliff offered this non-apology apology:

"My comment [on Twitter] was there is no doubt the PM has got this wrong and you
may as well legalize marriage with animals. It sounds terrible now, but it was
not meant to be anti-gay. I am not anti-gay and I respect people’s views on this

I guess it’s true what they say: heterosexuality means never having to say you’re sorry. No wait, that’s bestiality.

Also in British-gay-people-as-understood-by-straight-people news, Leonardo DiCaprio is set to play the famed gay mathematician Alan Turing, who developed a machine to decipher coded messages sent by the Nazis during the Second World War, helping to turn the tide for the Allies. After the war, Turing was imprisoned and given forced hormone therapy for his homosexuality, and two years later he killed himself. It’s DiCaprio’s second recent high-profile queer role, after his forthcoming J Edgar Hoover biopic, about the famed crossdressing director of the FBI.

OK, one more pic of the hot Canadian rowers:

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