Software
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Meanwhile, in straight… Madonna, Blendr and gay porn

BY ROB SALERNO – Has the struggle for gay rights got you down? Are you tired of being blamed for giving AIDS to black women, causing the economic collapse and bringing on 9/11? Exhausted from the feeling that holding hands with your loved one is some major political act?

Well, if you need some relief, then the Roundup’s new semi-regular feature Meanwhile, in Straight… is for you. Here’s where we’ll collect the silliest and strangest news from our cousins who enjoy different genitalia to remind us that, hey, straight people do crazy things, too.

The Toronto International Film Festival is always a good source of straight crazy. Most recently, Madonna forced a group of TIFF volunteers to turn their backs to her and face the wall so that they wouldn’t be able to look at her as she walked down a hallway to a promotional event for her new film, WE. 

And can you blame her? After all, she’s one of the most photographed women in the world, presenting herself for hundreds of strangers at a press event where she’ll be photographed and videotaped to be presented to millions of people around the world. She’s a woman whose entire adult life has been about giving away images of her face to the masses. 

By contrast, TIFF volunteers have dedicated a few hours of their lives to help make sure that celebrities like Madonna get the star treatment they deserve, and the only compensation they get is a possible chance encounter with a celebrity.  So how could they possibly expect to deserve a chance encounter with a celebrity? At least no one dared give her hydrangeas. 

Speaking of chance encounters, Grindr has finally got around to launching the straight version, Blendr. Casual sex: it’s not just for homos anymore.

Grindr CEO Joel Simkhai told Xtra about his straight app project back in July. Grindr claims that Blendr isn’t just about sex; it’s for making friends with mutual interests. Which is why the app is only for users 17+ and its logo is shaped like a puckered anus.

 

 

Here’s hoping they’ll get around to more apps named after settings on my Cuisinart. I’m sure there’s a vast untapped market for an SM buddy app called Whipr or Beatr.

And meanwhile, in straight, er, gay-for-pay, er, bi, a Belgian football (soccer) player has decided to pursue a career in gay porn after retiring from sports at the ripe old age of 27. 

Jonathan De Falco, who perhaps superfluously adopted the screenname Stany Falcone, played for the team Racing Mechelen, where he apparently had a market value of 150,000 euros. After an injury, he decided to leave sports and come out as gay or bi — the reports are unclear on that point — and become a pornstar. On being in the closet as a pro player, De Falco told Outsports that “The soccer world is not ready for openly gay players. There are still too many prejudices and too little tolerance.”

And given the hilariously uncomfortable and double-entendre-filled reporting about De Falco’s career change on the Irish sports website JOE, that’s probably true.

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