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More gay sex in the Vatican . . . this time with a sexy Swiss Guard!

Note before you begin reading: I have no idea what the man who has come forward about sexual advances in the Vatican actually looks like, but I suggest you read this story imagining the god pictured above.

A former Swiss Guard, the force of 110 men responsible for the Vatican’s security, has revealed he received 20 “unambiguous requests” for sex from members of the clergy, including cardinals, bishops and priests.

The guard made his claims to newspaper Schweiz am Sonntag, reporting one incident of being called upon in the middle of the night by a senior official who invited him into his room, where he was solicited for sex.

Another alleged incident saw him returning to his room to find a bottle of whiskey with a card left by a bishop inviting him to dinner and saying that the guard would be served as dessert.

A third allegation is that he was fondled by a “high official,” and when he reported the harassment to his superiors received no support.

A Vatican spokesman has dismissed the report as “not credible,” and Urs Breitenmoser, a spokesman for the Swiss Guard, told Schweiz am Sonntag that “the rumour of a homosexual network in the heart of the Vatican was not a problem."

Agreed, Breitenmoser. Ridiculous uniforms aside, I see no problem in a homosexual network with your guards!