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New Years Resolutions and Kathy Griffin

Let's back this up for a sec. New Years Resolutions AND Kathy Griffin? Maybe I should make Kathy Griffin my new years resolution. Wait a minute. I don't know what that sentence means, so back to my original list:

1) Defined abs

Sure the first thing on my list is superficial, but in a way, doesn't everyone benefit from me having a six-pack? Just think, next time my shirt "accidently" falls off in a night club or, say, while I'm grocery shopping at the Super Valu, it will just be awkward, instead of being awkward and ghastly.

LL Cool J has decided to help me out with this. He and I are tight like that: 

Hell, maybe I'll even post a weekly progression here on the blog. Stay tuned.

2) Remix sound clips/songs built out of vocal loops

I needs me some more of these:

I also need more "gonna crash your party" and condescending hand gestures in my life. I'm torn whether she is saying "we can fight" or "girl fight" – but does it really matter? Really, can't it be both?
3) Muay Thai training
In the words of LL, Don't call it a come back. I've been here for years…
Mama said knock you out. Sean's gonna knock you out…etc.

4) No more soy milk

Rumour has it that this stuff is jam packed with estrogen and I am not ready to look down and see a nice pair of these attached to my chest:


5) To stop making promises I can't keep

Like, say, on my last blog posting when I promised to post a personal anecdote about that couple I interviewed and realized that though funny, it's not something I'm willing to share online. However, if you ever see me in person, ask about it. You won't be disappointed.

Tis a short list, but a true one. Here's a Kathy Griffin clip just because I love you and love the last line she says before the camera cuts even more: