2 min

Next time close Davie St

Tired of waiting in line for a beer cage

It would be remiss to let summer dip beneath the horizon without pondering why the hell this town can’t throw a decent street party.

When it comes to the cost of living, Vancouver is compared to San Francisco, but when it comes to fun, it’s the Vatican without the sex.

For two years now I’ve watched that blue fence go up on Davie St and wonder: Why not make us wear striped pajamas and pink triangles while they’re at it?

That cage is as moronic as it is insulting. Security may be frisking people on their way in, but no one knows what they’re carrying outside the fence. Imagine the pandemonium if some homophobe decided to throw firecrackers over it… or open fire. Where would all those people waiting in line for a beer have to run?

Paranoid delusions aside, if you’re going to sell beer don’t get Miss Wiggins from the Carol Burnett Show to do it. It seems like whenever I go to any big gay event these days I wait in line to wait in line.

What pisses me off about the beer lines is I don’t drink and it blows my mind that many events don’t sell water in a separate line. At this year’s street party my friend and I thought it would be faster to leave, hydrate elsewhere then come back, but the security guard said if we left the odds were we wouldn’t get back in. It wasn’t even 10 pm!

We ended up leaving, because everyone we knew was either trapped in line to get in line or waiting for beer.

Frankly I would trade the stupid corporate street party for closing Davie St on Pride Day. There are just as many people coming back from the parade as there are from the fireworks and yet we’re forced to walk in traffic without so much as a traffic cop.

Just close the fucking street already and let people drink beer from plastic cups so they can watch the drag queens perform on the rooftops without fear of getting run over by a bus. San Francisco does it and it’s legal to carry a concealed weapon there!

Every weekend the police are too busy patrolling Granville St for the benefit of a handful of bar owners to protect the rest of the city. Whatever revenue the fireworks attract must be negated by the cost in property damage and security.

Look at the numbers from Toronto Pride 2009: $100 million in direct economic impact, 650 jobs supported, $18 million in tax revenue.

That the city of Vancouver isn’t bending over backwards to help out with our Pride is not only homophobic, it’s plain stupid.