Toronto Diary
1 min

Oh my god! You guys! Ikea monkey!

If you’ve never been to the Ikea in North York . . . Don’t. Just don’t. That place is like a museum of violent, id-driven rage. If you want to see people throw fists and racial slurs over a coffee table and meatballs? Ikea. Ikea is your mecca.

So no, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to go to Ikea. Except for one special little guy: Darwin, the Ikea monkey!

At around 3 p.m. ET, the diminutive primate was spotted in the store’s upper parking lot, where it was cornered by several Ikea staff members, who also called animal control to come retrieve the monkey.

“It apparently let itself out of its crate, opened the car door and went for a walk,” Toronto Police Sgt. Ed Dzingala said. “Smart monkey.”

“It was just outside the store, just in a corner area where the monkey had no where to go, but it was pretty scared,” said Dzingala.

Ikea staff managed to lure the primate into a corner before calling police, who in turn contacted the city’s Animal Services department, he said. [SOURCE]

Well, I don’t see what the big deal is, it’s just a little monkey wandering aroun-

OH MY GOD. Is it wearing a jacket? That is the cutest thing ever! If we ever get rid of Rob Ford, can we put Darwin in as our new mayor?

 

IKEA MONKEY! NOOOOOOO! 

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