Toronto Diary
1 min

Oklahoma lawmaker may fight gay marriage by banning all marriage

Did you ever have that one friend growing up who was just a total douche? The kind who, the moment he lost a game of soccer or football or Super Smash Bros, would take all his toys and go home? Because if he couldn’t get what he wanted, then no one else could.

Well, those little douche kids apparently grow up to be little douche adults.

Take, for instance, Oklahoma Representative Mike Turner. As you probably remember, the state of Oklahoma just overturned its ban on gay marriage after it was deemed unconstitutional. Rodgers and Hammerstein would be so proud.

[Oklahoma! Original Broadway Cast Album (1943). Source: amazon.com]

But wouldn’t you know it, Turner is refusing to stand for this kind of fairness and equality. And so, according to Gay Star News, Turner is fighting back against marriage equality by banning all civil marriage, saying that his constituents are “willing to have that discussion about whether marriage needs to be regulated by the state at all."

So just to be clear here: you never needed to have that discussion when you were the special little snowflakes getting the whole marriage pie. But now that everyone else can get a slice, now you want to talk about it? I’ll give you credit where credit is due; at least you’re being unfair and miserable to everyone, but that still doesn’t negate the fact that you’re being unfair and miserable.