Vancouver
2 min

On the frontlines of safer sex

Escorts can help clients learn how to better protect themselves

There’s a guy that calls me about once every two months, like clockwork.

It’s happened about a half-dozen times, and the conversations have been identical. He’s ESL, sounds incredibly nervous and speaks in a hush.

“Is this Colin? I’m calling about your ad. I have some questions.”

There will be four questions and I already have the answers ready. Yes I do out calls. Two hundred dollars an hour. Cut.

“Okay. Right. Alright,” he stutters, then pauses. “One last thing. Do you bareback?”

No.

“Okay. Alright, right, okay,” and he hangs up. Just like the last time.

These types of phone calls make me thankful that I am in a financial position to pick and choose my clients.

But apart from this guy’s particular brand of strangeness, the request still shocks me a little. I’ve never considered not using a condom.

Previously, I’ve generally dated similarly middle-class, clean-cut and slightly nerdy boys who also grew up in the early ’90s. Our demographic was bombarded with workshops and “very special episodes” that for a time made me terrified of sex. But we got the message, and I was na├»ve enough to think everyone else did too.

But now, I’m fucking way outside of my demographic (an understatement, to be sure).

It’s necessary for me to continually assert my limits and educate.

Sometimes it’s simple, like my bimonthly caller. I’m guessing and hoping that he knows what he’s asking for, and a simple ‘no’ will suffice. But sometimes it’s not so simple.

The difference lies between those who got the message then rejected it, and those who missed the message entirely.

Within my clientele, it’s usually the closeted straight guys, living way outside of the Davie St zeitgeist that have the least amount of clue. They spend their Friday nights watching Full House reruns with the wife and kids; that’s quite a different lifestyle than hitting the bathhouse after Nude Men’s Yoga.

It’s often assumed that a guy who barebacks with a hooker understands the risks. I’ve learned to never make these assumptions.

The first time a guy told me that he didn’t need a condom because he was cut, I knew that it was time to stand outside of the fantasy for a moment and have a reality check.

Myself and other escorts should take advantage of our position on the frontlines. We’re reaching the fringes of our community, inaccessible to slick campaigns.

Professional sex services are more than just keeping it up and sticking it in. It includes looking out for your clients, and making sure they leave knowing how to protect themselves a bit better than before they came.