Thursday, Aug 18
Happy Hour: Undressing Drag
Before you start having nightmares, this is not a tour of various queens’ windows watching them change before bed — although I’m pretty sure Conni Smudge sleeps in those flowered muumuus. This is an evening of drinks and discussion about the fashion trends of local legendary drag legends, The Bovines. Following the presentation and discussion, two veritable fashionistas, Peach Cobblah and Isolde N Barron, perform.
6pm. Museum of Vancouver, 1100 Chestnut St. Tickets for adults $15, $11 for seniors and students at facebook.com/events/275640846127315/
Poking For Fun
Unless I am doing it all wrong, isn’t poking always for fun? This is a night where you, like me, can face our dreaded fear of needles and see how erotic they can be. Whatever your motivation, explore temporary piercings in the safety of a group. They will cover needle basics, including the physical components of needs, the related risks to this activity, and proper disposal and safety techniques. Then move on to the hands-on portion of the class and have some fun exploring different techniques, various placement options, playing with blood and — time permitting — decorative suturing. After this, I will be able to stitch together my own date.
6-9pm. Wise Hall, 1882 Adanac St. $50 for one kit of supplies and two participants, $40 for one kit and one participant. $20 just to watch unpoked. Preregister and find more info at metrovancouverkink.com.
Black Lives Matter Dance Party
This is the only place I am going to get a free voguing lesson by Strike a Pose himself Jose Guitierez. Hip hop performances and a quick Afrobeats dance lesson for the crowd are part of the mix. Celebrate black culture in Vancouver through this rocking dance-focused party.
10pm. Lost + Found Café, 33 W Hastings St. Free with Vancouver Queer Film Festival (VQFF) membership. facebook.com/events/275096189532324/
Friday, Aug 19
If there was ever a bitch to steal a scene, it’s this one. Alma B Itches is back as your drop-dead-gorgeous host when Vancouver Art and Leisure (VAL) teams up with the Vancouver Queer Film Festival to screen a 1999 cult classic film (announced on-site). Cocktails are served while Alma reads some filth.
Doors 8:30pm, film 9pm, after-party and filth to follow all night long. 1965 Main St (front entrance). Tickets $12 at facebook.com/events/282866262075649/
Boutique Cabaret: Hot Summer Nights
Known as a hippy-dippy kind of laidback, boring part of town, Kitsilano seems to be coming to life with a few monthly drag shows. Next they will probably want their own Pride parade. Tonight, hit Kit’s own beach bar, Boutique Cabaret, inspired by big-name musicals, fantasy fiction, Hollywood glamour and a magical journey of dreams. On tap are special guest Audrey Hipturn with Evita Versace, Ann Narky, Manda Stroyer and many more.
9pm-11pm. Displace Hashery, 3293 W 4th Ave. Tickets $10 at door. facebook.com/events/1761702134112809/
I am going to check this out but I just can’t bring myself to tell my friends I’m going to a Pop Princess party. I feel like I should be in something all pink and fluffy while giggling like crazy. For one night only, girls and gays unite with girl-power anthems brought to you by DJs Christa Belle and Yurie Cherchez, along with performances by Dynasty, Ilona and Coco Klein. Feminine hygiene products and ear plugs are available at coat check. Now that’s a worry off my mind.
10pm. VAL, 1965 Main St (back entrance). Cover $15. facebook.com/events/132982137144796/
Exactly the phrase my father used when my parents came to visit me in Edmonton years ago. That was the good times of our relationship. This is a new event open to all genders, all bodies and all expressions of queer. Bring your partner/s, invite your friends, and tell your crushes. Lounge area, dance floor and multiple backroom areas for privacy.
10pm-3am. Club 8×6, 1775 Haro St. Cover $10. facebook.com/events/934513429991425
Empress Sienna Blaze is away, so let’s see what Alma B Itches can get up to. That girl has her fingers elbow-deep in everyone’s business, and this week she has Karmella Barr as her partner-in-crime. Join in the fun at this monthly fundraiser for Health Initiative for Men (HIM), Rainbow Refugee and Out in Schools.
10:30pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. $5 suggested donation at door for their charities.
Saturday, Aug 20
Two Soft Things, Two Hard Things
Since it sounds like a porn movie I thought this would be right up my alley, but I’m wrong again. It’s going to be interesting but no skin-on-skin I am afraid. This is a documentary on the making of Nunavut’s first LGBT2Q+ Pride celebration. You will learn about Inuit traditions of sexuality and gender that predate colonial notions of pride and queerness. Stay after the film for the workshop, Two-Spirit Directions, with Harlan Purden.
6:30-8:30pm. SFU Woodward’s, 149 W Hastings St. Tickets $8-$12 at facebook.com/events/1057316007649335
Back To The Gayties
I’ve been hearing great things about Chilliwack’s newest — and probably only — gay spot Wilde Oscar’s, a restro-pub that puts on dances and drag shows. Granted it’s a bit of a way to go for an evening of fun, but it’s more like a road trip where you need to find a friendly bed to stay over. I am sure there is many a horny gay man just waiting to explode out in the valley. Tonight is an all ’80s dance party with DJ BigBadBear. I just need to find two more little piggies and we are all set to party with the DJ.
8pm-12am. Wilde Oscar’s at The Wellington, 45886 Wellington Ave, Chilliwack. No cover. facebook.com/events/1811126192450524/
You’ve heard that good things come in small packages — well, only in terms of height, I mean. Small packages also pack a mean punch as you will find out with DJ Domtop. He will have you bouncing off the walls and drenched in sweat. Catch your breath and rest up between sets with host Jane Smoker and guest playmate for Aug, Cleopatra Compton. Even that name sounds like you will be entertained. One of the best nights in the village brought to you by TFD Presents.
9pm-3am. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Cover $5. facebook.com/TFDpresents/
Queer Fam Jam
There’s nothing I like better than games night with alcohol, except for naked beer pong but that is a bit hard to play in public. Tonight Lick Reunited brings you a games night with tunes by DJs ManyBothans and Skylar Love. Free pool and arcade games, arm wrestling and lots of other activities are on the menu. And yes, there’s free beer pong so I might be convince folks to drop their gear. After all, you don’t want beer stains all over your pants, do you?
10pm. The Hindenburg, 23 West Cordova St. Cover $5 before 11pm, $10 after.
Sunday, Aug 21
Queen, Eggs & Ham
Looking to laugh at a certain friend or trying to embarrass someone? Take them to brunch with the queens and see if they don’t spit their food halfway across the table like I did with my mimosa. A riot with totally unexpected moments, this popular brunch is worth a visit. Peach Cobblah and Isolde N Barron are the perfect, if not pushy, hosts. Don’t look up from your plate or you may be sharing their stage for a number.
11am-3pm. Village Restaurant, 1143 Davie St. No cover but reservations recommended. facebook.com/peach.cobblah
Usually the most fun a guy can have alone is penis play, which is why men can never be bored. Nothing going on? Slip a hand in your shorts and all is well with the world. Want to make that even better? Do it in a group scene where everyone is concerned with just one thing. Hang out with other horny, naked guys looking to share some serious M2M penis play. They supply JO porn, lube to keep your dong nice and slick, and groovy tunes to get your goon on.
2-5pm. Club 8×6, 1775 Haro St. Cover $10, $5 for students. Clothes check and bottled water are complimentary. vancouverjax.com
I can’t seem to lose Alma B Itches. Everywhere I go, she is hosting, performing or tricking. Tonight she is not alone; her two besties from Toronto are in town and they are all going to let loose. It may be church night but there is some devil action brewing. If that’s not enough, steamy, sexy and often shirtless Riley Cox is the DJ of the hour. If you can take your eyes off him long enough to realize there is a show going on, then all will be well. If those queens see you are not focused on them, run for your life.
Doors 6pm, DJ and show 10pm-1am. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/events/879148402229273/
Monday, Aug 22
Queer Prov: Irrigator
Get ready for an all-female night of comedy sexytime. They have assembled the hottest (in more ways than one) female queer improvisers, and it will be an orgy of nonstop laughter. Women do it better, come see for yourself. Even though it is an all-female cast, I’m sure since Ryan Steele finally got his legs tanned the same colour as his body, he’ll be showing them off somehow.
8pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No cover. facebook.com/events/859369994167849/
50 Feet Of Rope
Take note, that is the exact amount of rope it takes to tie me up and have your way with me — or a half bottle of vodka and some butcher’s twine will do it. Coincidentally, it’s also the name of the live demo that’s going to teach you basic ties and their creative application to different parts of the body for pleasure and pain.
7:30pm. The Art of Loving, 369 West Broadway. Registration $35 at artofloving.ca/
Tuesday, Aug 23
According to the Urban Dictionary, “a shame spiral characterizes the loss of self-control over something that makes one feel worthless and pathetic.” Examples of triggers could be junk food bingeing, alcohol, meaningless sex, waking up with Carlotta, etc. For those of us that live in the village, our trigger is Peach Cobblah and it is the hardest one to get over. Like a magnet, she pulls us in for a weekly night of drag, perverse games, and true shame-spiral stories that none of us can refuse. Tonight’s guest is Lea Vendetta.
10pm. 1181, 1181 Davie St. facebook.com/peach.cobblah