(Don’t miss the 15th year of CoCo’s popular holiday fundraiser at the Fountainhead Pub on Sunday, Dec 14. Here she is hosting the 2013 edition, above. This year, money raised will benefit A Loving Spoonful and the Greater Vancouver Food Bank./Alvin Grado)
Thursday, Dec 10
Christmas Queen 2
A giant, blue-haired drag queen is coming back to town, and I don’t mean Mz Adrian! This Christmas Queen drops in on Santa at the North Pole to raise a little improvised hell and stir things up before the big day. Give the shopping a rest, kick back with a cocktail or three, and enjoy a very funny play brought to you by the Vancouver Theatresports League. Play runs Wednesdays to Saturday nights until Sunday, Dec 20. 7:30pm. The Improv Centre, 1502 Duranleau St, Granville Island. Tickets $22 at vtsl.com
I was all set to get my tickets since I thought this was a bunch of sweaty wrestlers coming to Vancouver for a Monday night raw Christmas show. But no, this is an independent arts organization for artists, by artists, here to present a showcase of visual art, fashion, makeup and hair artistry, music and film in a one-night circus of creativity. 8pm. Celebrities, 1022 Davie St. Tickets $20 at door. rawartists.org/vancouver
Text Me Live
I so want to be part of a show like this! But I want to be on an episode that takes place at Steamworks, or anywhere else that embraces nudity. Could you imagine me taking requests online? Get the bail money ready now! But tonight could be a lot of fun as well. Three crazy queens working together for the first time in a show that has an online feed so you can contact them via phone, video, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook or any other way you can manage. They want to hear from you about everything that you loathe, love, or just want to bitch about. Hosted by Charlee Jem and Shanda Leer, with Berlin behind the bar (probably bent over), this night could be crazy. 9-11pm. The Emerald, 555 Gore Ave. Come watch in person, or join the online feed. Check their Facebook page the night of the event for the feed.
Friday, Dec 11
HUNTЯ: Featuring Patrick Kelly and ELdjLOCO
Adam Dreaddy must be packing some serious equipment in that little body. His events not only feature top entertainment but drop dead gorgeous hunks of man meat. No wonder I can never get in! Tonight, two amazing house DJs will bring you quality house music, love and dance. “HUNTЯ is not gay or straight, black or white, male or female; HUNTЯ is the experience that is missing in Vancouver nightlife,” Dreaddy says. 10pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Tickets $15-$20 at Stratosphere Hair Salon, 1259 Granville St and at door. More information here on Facebook.
Saturday, Dec 12
Third Annual East Van HAM Event
If you have seen me lingering around my local watering holes (or any holes, for that matter) on a Friday night, you can understand that Saturday mornings can be a bit cloudy for me. Throw in the fact that I have friends that like to see me suffer, and you can guess how I responded last year when my friends invited me to a big HAM event after a night of partying. Little did I know that HAM stands for Holiday Artist Market, not oink oink. But I was so pleasantly surprised by the event that I am going back this year. It was like a culture crawl but all in one spot. Enjoy a huge selection of gifts, jewellery, soaps, alpaca goods and more, made by local artists of the community like Susan Hansen, Ted Munz, Flavia Chan and others. DJs, refreshments and food round out the day. 12–6pm. 1739 Venables, in the old Astorinos. No cover. bazaars.ca
Sin City XXXMas Fetish Ball
Two years ago I went to my first fetish ball, A XXXmas one because I just couldn’t figure out what to wear to a regular one. I was a Fetish Master Claus — dark stubble instead of white beard, commando in a red velvet tight suit with a lot of black leather accessories. My plan was to just fit in and see what goes on, but I found out just how many guys have a crazy hard-on to get in Santa’s pants. More hands brought my manhood to life than at a faith healer’s convention. Now it’s your turn. Come and join the naughty fun. Suspension and kink play dungeon, cuddle spots, bondage furniture, play areas and more. Strict fetish dress code in effect. 9pm–3am. The Hindenburg, 23 W Cordova St. Tickets $13 advance at Deadly Couture, 317 Cambie St, or ticketzone.com. Info and dress code at sincityfetishnight.com.
Sunday, Dec 13
CoCo’s Fountainhead Holiday Show
This girl has been giving it away for charity around the West End for so long that she must have been on the Hy’s Mansion stroll. Once again, CoCo is back with her girls in tow for the holiday drag extravaganza of the year, raising thousands of dollars for local charities, while giving away thousands in prizes. Best of all you don’t have to be there to win. Stop by, donate to get your tickets, and they will call you when you win. How much easier could it be? But if you leave, you will miss some amazing talent. 8pm. Fountainhead Pub, 1025 Davie St. Admission is free. For more information check their Facebook page.
Tuesday, Dec 15
Discussion Night: The Criminalization of HIV
Put aside the parties, sex, food and friends of the holiday season for a worthwhile discussion on the current laws surrounding HIV, disclosure and our sex lives. No matter what your status, it’s important that we all know how Canada’s criminal law is connected to our sex lives. Join others as they look into how these laws affect us, and explore strategies to resist stigma in our communities. 6:30-9pm. Mpowerment Headquarters, 568 Seymour St. www.facebook.com/MpowermentYVR/
Wednesday, Dec 16
Customer Appreciation Night
Am I the only one willing to admit that, at one time or another in the last two decades or so, I’ve had sex somewhere in Numbers? Once it was out in the open in the appropriately named Cock Pit area. Then there was that time in a storage closet upstairs . . . Tonight they actually want to thank us for all our support over the past year, so let’s go show them how thankful we are that they’re still around. Complimentary bevvies and appetizers from 8–11pm. Look for me in the storage closet and I’ll show you some real appreciation. Numbers Cabaret, 1042 Davie St. numbers.ca
Every once in a while I think about doing a drag number just once in my life. Then I remember that my overly large testicles may be pulled, not in a loving way, and shoved up my hoop like ginormous anal beads and then covered in duct tape, and the thought passes. So I have to give these girls credit. They always pull off an amazing show! (Though now you’re going to be thinking about where everything’s tucked during the show.) Doesn’t matter. You will still enjoy the show. Alma B Itches, Babette Co-Taylor and Ivana Phoque and their entertainers will wow you. Door prizes, 50/50 draw, and a lot of fun. 10pm–1am. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $3 and it all goes to charity. More information on their Facebook page.