Thursday, Dec 14
Sounds like a pet name for someone’s penis — oops, sorry Ryan Steele. This is an extra special show featuring Phono Pony and Ponyboy from Man Up. A night of music and dancing not to be missed.
8pm–1am. The Cobalt, 917 Main St. Tickets $10 and info on Facebook.
Friday, Dec 15
The Great Big Give
A perfect way to get a tasty breakfast on the way to work — or more likely on the way home from the baths (cough, cough, Conni Smudge). Drop by for a casual breakfast to support A Loving Spoonful’s meal programs. Bring your holiday donations for a chance to be mentioned on air, since News 1130 is co-presenting this breakfast.
6–10am. Fountainhead Pub, 1025 Davie St. Breakfast by donation: minimum $5. Info from A Loving Spoonful.
Queers on Ice
If you have ever watched me on skates, you would know it should say Fear on Ice — but I love to watch. The Whatever Youth Committee presents an “ice gayting” event for queer youth and their allies in West Van. They provide rental, admission and a cup of hot chocolate, you just provide the feet. Must be a youth in Grades 8–12.
Youth Winter Gabaret 2017
It’s the end of the year and it seems like we really need snow to make this week’s events cozy. Qmunity’s Gab youth program presents a holiday event for queer, trans, two-spirit and allied youth between the ages of 14-25, featuring a welcome from Tyler Alan Jacobs, followed by a screening of the short film Violet and June, some storytelling, poetry, songs, dancing, and more.
6–9pm. Robert Lee YMCA, 955 Burrard St. Free event. Info on Facebook.
Kinky Santa Ball
Finally, a party for the adults — or is that the adulterers? The dress code is way more relaxed for this event, but you still need to have that fetish- and kinky-inspired look. Dress for the holidays and add a kinky accessory and you’re done! Or start ultra fetish and simply add a Santa hat or go wild with some fox fur. Don’t have anything to wear? Get creative with wide red ribbon and a jock strap. You must be prepared to show off.
Faux Girls: The House Of Delusion
This is the last Faux Girls of 2017, so don’t make a faux pas and forget about it or Empress XLVI Jane Smoker will find you. Always a great show with surprise guests, benefitting the Health Initiative for Men, Zee Zee Theatre, Rainbow Refugee and WAVAW.
10pm–12am. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. Info on Facebook.
Saturday, Dec 16
Women’s Winter Faire
Sounds & Furies’ craft fair has been celebrating the holidays with women artisans, artists and businesses for the last 24 years, raising money for local and global organizations.
Saturday and Sunday 11am–5pm. Heritage Hall, 3102 Main St. Get full info on Facebook.
Holiday Fun Fused Jazz
You’ll be belting along to these jazzy holiday songs after a few candy-cane martinis. Martina Griffiths will be performing all the holiday favourites, including “Marshmallow World,” “I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas,” and some new delights.
7:30–11pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Tickets $20 at Brown Paper Tickets.
Wild Fruit — Ugly Sweater Party
Time for that sweater you were given last year to raise its ugly head. Bring your tacky winter sweaters, toques or leggings. Flygirl Productions will bring the holiday cheer with dance and hip-hop mixes from DJ Kasey Riot. May all your sweaters be ugly and bright.
10pm–2am. Prive Nightclub, 750 Pacific Blvd. Tickets $10–$12 from Flygirl Productions.
Sunday, Dec 17
January Marie Lapuz Youth Leadership Award
There are only two weeks left to submit your application for this award honouring youth ages 16 to 30 who have shown leadership in the LGBT community. Check your eligibility and apply at Sher Vancouver.
The White Christmas Party
Don’t get your hopes up; it’s not that type of snow. Sit back and have a few delicious winter cocktails and watch the classic White Christmas movie — and when everyone starts to sing along, don’t be shy.
6–9pm. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. Info at Gay Cities.
Sleepy Girl Show Xmas: Days Of Christmas Past
Time for a drag musical written by David Cutting to get you into the holigay spirit. According to the plot summary, Dust goes home for the holiday to see her family, and what she finds astounds even her. Yes, there is a bar on site.
8:30pm–12am. Displace Hashery, 3293 W 4th Ave. Cover $10. Info on Facebook.
Monday, Dec 18
Nasty Women Comedy: Festive-ish
Take your mind off your shopping and grocery list for the holidays and enjoy some nasty women, as the comedy team returns to Vancouver.
Tuesday, Dec 19
A Very Very Gluttonous Christmas
A play about Christmas dinner at Robyn Graves’ place? That girl can eat. No, this is the launch of an all-star drag event, with artists, comedians and entertainers coming together for a one-night Christmas special. Featuring an intimate retelling of How The Grinch Stole Christmas and a real-live Santa-dad for you bad boys and girls.
Wednesday, Dec 20
Bingo For Life: Christmas Style
Here is the bingo night you have waited for all year — Christmas bingo with the two scariest drag elves around, Alma B Itches and Carlotta Gurl. If that wasn’t enough, there is even a sexed up horn dog Santa, DJ Del Stamp. This is the last show before Christmas Day so save yourself a few bucks and win prizes to give away as gifts under your tree. Play your cards right and Carlotta will climb up your chimney, if you get my drift. As well, Steamworks will be matching dollar for dollar all the money raised for the Friends For Life Society.
7pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Entrance by donation. Info on Facebook.