Thursday, Jan 19
Vancouver’s Next Drag Superstar 2017
Just when you thought it was a time to relax after the holidays, a trifecta of promoters, Celebrities, Cruisey T and our city’s own version of RuPaul, Tommy D, start up another round of drag queen battles for Vancouver’s Next Drag Superstar 2017. Hosted by Jane Smoker, this competition runs weekly until Thursday, Feb 16 and promises to be even more entertaining than last year. A few new-to-town queens are itching (not that way) to show what they’ve got. Hint: Get there early, it fills up faster than a drag queen can down a drink.
8pm. Celebrities Nightclub, 1022 Davie St. Cover $5. facebook.com/events/1851121808434886/
Friday, Jan 20
As soon as I saw this event I could hear an older English person yelling, in exactly the voice you are hearing in your head right now, at their dogs. Trust me, I live with an Englishman and that is really how they sound. These walkies, however, are with the cute pups of VAN-PAH and their handlers. Join in for a night of hot cocoa and a walk to Britannia Ice Rink to skate your heart out and chase a cute pup around the ice.
6:30–9:15pm. Meet at Waves Coffee, 1858 Commercial Dr, then take a short walk to Britannia Rink, 1661 Parker St. Cost is $6 admission, $3 skate rental. facebook.com/vanpah/
Thank god there is no nude yoga running at the moment; nobody wants to see all the treats and meals of Christmas jiggling in front of your face. But here is a regular weekly class to get you into shape while still fully dressed, hopefully in something tight enough to keep everything in place. Summer is on the way and we guys all need to get the flexibility and circulation going in case of an after-yoga hook-up. This is an easy-going group without attitude, open to all levels. Please bring your own yoga mat, a towel and lots of energy’
7–8:30pm. Scotiabank Dance Centre, 677 Davie St. Sessions are free but in order to keep services for gay men sustainable they rely on your generous donations (most people give $5–10). checkhimout.ca
Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo
I am not a big ballet fan but I am a fan of bulges in Spandex or Lycra bouncing all over the ballet stage, which is why I checked out The Trocks on their last swing through town in 2015. What I didn’t know until the curtain went up is that this is a crossdressing company, so the only bulge I got to see was mine from being shoehorned into a very narrow seat. That aside, it was still one of the funniest nights I have seen at a show. Don’t miss these ballerinas as they lovingly skewer such balletic favourites as Swan Lake, La Esmeralda and Don Quixote with grace, skill, silliness, and a lot of flouncy dresses.
8pm. Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 630 Hamilton St. Tickets $29–129 on their website. Show runs Friday and Saturday, Jan 21. trockadero.org
Saturday, Jan 21
Out In Harmony: We Belong Together
Mrs MacLavanie was my choir teacher back in elementary school. Believe it or not, I was adorable back then, and could sing. Plus, I was the normal height of a third grader. Thinking back on it now, I hated that teacher. In one song, “Edelweiss,” I had to perform a solo that has stuck in my brain and played over and over ever since at the most inappropriate times. Helpfully, it has been my go-to place when I don’t want to cum too fast. TMI, I know, but we all have that place. Out in Harmony, however, welcomes people of all gender identities and sexual orientations as they create a fun and safe community where all are free to be themselves and to stretch musically. No auditions or previous musical experience are required. Tonight their concert celebrates the need to feel you can belong, relax and feel safe, no matter where you come from. Sit back and let the music engulf you as you enjoy the evening.
Night Run: Black Light Party
Well, it must be an omen from the gods. As I sit here writing this, Canada Post has kindly just dropped off the four neon jock straps I ordered. I hope my package doesn’t blind you. As usual, when DJ Gingerbear spins the sweat will be dripping and the men grinding as the sexiest go-go studs rock their glow wear. Joining the naturally glowing Gingerbear will be Producer/DJ Tommy K from Chicago, spinning some futuristic tribal-tech house mixed with soulful drums, sexy vocal tracks and future sounds.
Return To The Chair
If you cross a stage, a chair, some of the best comedians and actors in town and host David C Jones, what do you get? A night full of skits and scenes like Helium Death Scene, When Your One and Only Is Two People and many more. A different type of night that does not happen often; try not to miss it.
7–10pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No Cover. facebook.com/events/173716726442909/
Whistler Pride Kickoff Party
Whether you are heading up to Whistler for Pride (which starts Sunday, Jan 22, see below) or have to stay home and make money, tonight is the kickoff party where you can start your week. XY will be transformed into a frozen winter wonderland. Come in and get ready to head up the mountain, probably with a hangover but at least it will be cold enough to keep you alert. DJ Rafael Calvente will spin and there will be a performance by Bibi Souphresh. Remember, if the bartenders are down to their underwear, it’s not their fault; It’s cold in there.
9pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Cover $10. facebook.com/events/1813278338941933/
D G-Luv & Bikes
1181 does so many over-the-top nights I thought, sure, they could be doing spin classes with that little ball of energy DJ G-Luv spinning along with the bikes. Now I understand that Bikes is DJ and Producer Shawn Henderson, so although I won’t be getting any exercise I will be hearing great music, having a few cocktails and hopefully watching Riley and Thiago bartending. Life is good.
10pm–1am. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/pg/1181Lounge/events/?ref=page_internal
Sunday, Jan 22
Whistler Pride 25
Twenty-five years of Whistler Pride. Over the years, that is a lot of parties, men, hot tubs, relationships, one night stands, drag queens, DJs, and chemicals — and I don’t mean Botox. But those are all the parts of a great week-long event, so who is to judge? The only thing I’m not sure there is a lot of is skiing, as my friends who go never seem to even get on the slopes. But I’m told the skiing and snowboarding is among the best in the world, if you’re into that sort of thing. This year’s headliners off the slopes include Kim Kuzma, a comedy night with Pam Ann, and a huge closing party featuring The Cube Guys, plus the Wild West Party, the pool party, the uniform ball, and more events. Whistler Pride runs until Sunday, Jan 29 so take a few minutes to plan out your events and get your tickets. Event times, locations and more info at gaywhistler.com.
I don’t know how all that makeup stays on Alma B Itches as she runs from place to place shaking her booty. Tonight after a usually packed house at Sanctuary, she high tails it, sometimes not quite in a straight line, and does this show across the street. This week her guests are Dust and Amy Grindhouse. I’m sure there will be many more queens there, since highballs are half price after 11pm.
1am–late. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St, Cover $5 or free if you have your stamp from Legends that plays earlier in the night. facebook.com/xyvancouver
Queers & Beers: Winter Edition
Just like ham & eggs, toast & jam and cereal & milk, what else goes better together than Queers & Beers? Since there is snow on the ground and a chill in the air, they are saying bye bye to the parking lot and moving to a new location across the street. Come on down for a thirst-quenching afternoon of meeting new folks, catching up with old friends and warming up with a nice frothy pint of the best beer (or cider) around.
5pm. The American Hotel, 926 Main St. Cover is sliding scale $7–15. facebook.com/events/1412291362145015/
Monday, Jan 23
Flex Fit With Him
Hands up, who is still doing their resolutions for 2017? That’s what I thought. I am right there along with you, so this class can be our salvation. Spring is on the way, and we are too old to keep calling it baby fat, unless you can have a 45-year-old baby. This weekly class combines muscle strengthening and stretching exercises such as push-ups, squats, yoga, basic Pilates, core exercises, and resistance band training. Bring a mat, towel and bottle of water.
Tuesday, Jan 24
Gay Speed Dating
Where else can you meet 25 guys for three minutes each? And no, Syd, the slurp ramp at the bathhouse does not count. You will spend three minutes each with all 25 guys, one at a time, and then you will check for any messages left for you at the end of the night, so no face-to-face rejection.
7–9:30pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Cover $25. facebook.com/xyvancouver/
I love my psychic (or is that psychotic) powers. Without even looking this event up I knew already with a name like S’no Ho’s, it had to be Conni Smudge and Carlotta Gurl. I hear when they go up the mountain they strap a keg of tequila on Dell Stamp, like a rescue dog, in case they get lost or caught in an avalanche. This will be a night where Kamp will be King, or Queen. Dress up or dress down, this night is about having a gay ol’ time. Come one come all, dancing until the wee hours is encouraged with DJ Andes on deck all night.