This is the last chance to send me your Pride listings and pictures! Watch for my Pride event picks starting Thursday, July 20 with a special edition of this column.
Thursday, July 13
Pride Reading Series
Now that summer is here, Jim Deva Plaza is getting the recognition it should, with everything from flash mobs to game show nights. Thursday is a bit of culture, as published authors of Dagger Editions (Canada’s newest queer women’s imprint) as well as emerging writers from the neighbourhood share an evening of loud and proud poetry and prose. These short and powerful performances by Cicely-Belle Blain, Nicola Harwood and Adèle Barclay are free and open to the public. This is an open, public space, on level ground, with enough chairs for all those who wish to sit. No public washrooms available. Readers will be amplified by audio equipment.
6:30–7:30pm. Jim Deva Plaza, 1200 Bute St. Free. facebook.com/events/329809817453068
If you missed the first life drawing session either as a model, artist or looky-loo, you missed a meaty opportunity. Switch that beer in your hand for a pencil and have some artistic fun. Tonight is a male-only drawing session where the model and artists are all naked. All you need to bring are your favourite pencils, sketching pad and a towel — yes, a towel. If you have to ask why I’ll let Richard, the host, explain.
7–9:30pm. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. Free. facebook.com/VancouverMenInLeather/
Stop Smoking, Start Knitting
Professional knitting teacher Julie Mary McNiven Smith, aka Mother to the World, shows you how to enrich your life with Scottish Shortbread, joy and much alcohol in this fun-filled comedy evening. Sometimes she gives tough love, sometimes she offers good home Scottish advice and sometimes, along with her Scottish cousin Ty Munroe (on piano), musical therapy. If all else fails, there is a fabulous bar.
The Hero Show: Dip A Toe
If you’re old enough to remember the comedy queens of the past like Lucille Ball, Judy Holliday or Eve Arden, check out this show and see one of Vancouver’s own who will be joining that list. Amy Goodmurphy, one of the best, along with Nathan Hare, Christine Bortolin, Kyle Fine and many more in a refreshing night of slightly strange solo sketch comedy.
9–11pm. The China Cloud, 524 Main St. $10 cover at the door. facebook.com/heroshowcomedy/
Friday, July 14
Vancouver Folk Music Festival
This year is the 40th annual folk fest and promises to be the best yet, with over 50 artists and a few extra surprises. The festival runs until Sunday, July 16. Check online for artists, show times and info..
1pm. Jericho Beach Park, 3941 Point Grey Road. Tickets $65–$80 per day, or weekend pass $170 adult, $135 elder and student, $75 youth at thefestival.ticketzone.com. More info at facebook.com/events/1226473877415429.
Story Story Lie
Are you a good storyteller? How about an even better liar? This open mic night, hosted by Vancouver slam poet Matt Loeb, is where you need to test your skills. Anyone can come tell a story, true or false, in five minutes. Trick the most people and you’ll win a prize. Performers will have a chance to come back for a paid spot next season. Performers get in free, so isn’t that worth five minutes of humiliation — or maybe adulation? Ryan Steele, you are a natural for this.
I once noticed a sex tape online by a “Queen Joan” and thought there might be another Joan-E out there. It turned out to be a WWE wrestler instead, but there were some similarities: her husband was smaller and getting pounded, there was a case of beer on the nightstand, and the reverse cowgirl position was getting a workout. A suggestion, Junction: Get a copy for the background as Joan-E and special guest Valynne Vile perform their night of debauchery and sultry stories. DJ Drew sets the mood for you to have a great time.
9:30pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St, Cover $5. junctionpub.com/events/queenplease-2017-07-14/
FUNeral: A Woke Wake
I didn’t think I would make it out of my 20s alive. Then my 30s were tragic and I thought I’d be dust by 40. But for better or worse, here I am still alive and humping. Friday is a drag celebration of life for us all as Dust and Misty H Meadows put the “fun” back in funeral. Part dance party, part wake, part disco, part memorial, part rave. Come for the eulogies, stay for the cold meats, music and drag.
10pm–3am. The Odyssey, 686 W Hastings St. Cover $7. facebook.com/events/1749361078695030
KK At XYYVR
The best shows are a drag queen’s birthday night; every queen in town will come in to perform, so for the paltry cover price you get a full evening of fun. Tonight is Kendall Gender’s birthday party — I swear that queen is 16. You also get Jane Smoker and Gia Metric as guest DJs along with Rafael Calvente to jump in if their hair gets in the way. With queens, spotlight dancers, booze, men and music, what more can you want? Okay, I’ll be there.
11pm–3am. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. $5 cover. facebook.com/xyvancouver/
Saturday, July 15
Fraser Valley Pride Festival
We are lucky to live where there are many Pride celebrations on different days all within an hour or two. By the time we hit August and go to New Westminster’s celebrations, my liver will be toast — scrape off the burnt parts, throw on some butter and I’m done. Celebrate with the up-and-coming generation of our community, as the Fraser Valley Youth Society brings you everything in one day. Plus they have no fewer than two gay bands, Queer As Funk and The TEE, both from the Lower Mainland.
12–4pm. Pride Festival, Jubilee Park, 2478 McCallum Park, Abbotsford. Free. facebook.com/FraserValleyPride/
Desert Hearts & The Ornithologist
Looking for a good flick to kick back, munch on popcorn and see something other than Marvel or DC heroes? I have two great films to satisfy the culture craving and still be LGBT, at one of the best theatres downtown. First up is The Ornithologist, about searching for a rare black stork as hot Paul Hamy is swept away over rapids and gets lost in the wilderness in a journey of spiritual and sexual self-discovery. Next pick is Desert Hearts, from the famous Jane Rule novel. Starring Helen Shaver as a professor exiting a failed marriage, who goes to Reno in search of a quickie divorce, only to discover a whole new world.
The Cinematheque, 1131 Howe St. Tickets $11 single bill, $16 double bill.
Desert Hearts: Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 4:30 and 8:45pm, Monday 6:30pm. thecinematheque.ca/desert-hearts
The Ornithologist: Saturday 8:25pm, Sunday 6:30pm, Monday 8:25pm, Thursday 6:30 and 8:25pm. thecinematheque.ca/the-ornithologist
Down & Dirty On Davie
Sounds like a Conni Smudge and Carlotta Gurl sandwich with Adam Genge as the creamy filling — now try to get that image out of your head. Down and Dirty on Davie features live local talent, produced by a team that tries to put on shows they would want to attend. Tonight they’re back with Chaplyn, Rozmo, Dtour, Wax Monk, Dapper Harlots, and host Matt Pagani.
The Gay Agenda: Glitter & Skin
Well, the old doll is back from her whirlwind tour across another continent. I’m sure Peach Cobblah has many stories, but she’s glad to be back and ready to see some skin. She’s spit polished the stripper pole — well, licked it really — and is ready to see masculinity at its finest slide up, down and all around the pole. All shapes, sizes, bodies, skin and amateurs are encouraged. Come down to watch some skin or sign up and drop your gear. Shows are onstage, in the shower and in the dark makeout corner. You may think you are making out on a cushion but that’s just post-vacation Peach having a break.
10pm–2am. The Odyssey, 686 W Hastings St. Cover $7 at door. facebook.com/events/261852697617627
Sunday, July 16
With this great weather, who wants to cook? Definitely not my partner. Once the ring was on the finger, the pots and pans went out the window. So, this is our kind of night: burgers, beer, patio, drag and fun. Funds raised for PFLAG will be used to help their chapter continue its legacy of helping parents, family, and friends when they need support. If you had a parent or loved one turn to PFLAG when you came out, or if you were that family member, this is a wonderful opportunity to give back. Sienna Blaze, Empress 45, will be providing the entertainment.
3–7pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. $12 gets you in, a burger, chips and a drink. eventbrite.ca/e/pflag-fundraiser-at-junction-tickets-35389812883
Caliente Nights: Viva la Cumbia
I thought I would be clever and use Google translate to find out what this Spanish saying is, but apparently it’s the same in English. Come to a Latin festival where everyone is welcome, and you might even meet someone to translate a few things for you. DJ T spins the Latin beats and Mili, Mona Fantasy, Mr Latino and more will perform for you.
10pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. junctionpub.com/events/caliente-nights-20/
Monday, July 17
Queer and Trans Youth Clothing Swap and Ice Cream Social
What better way to find all your outfits for Pride and have tons of ice cream at the same time? Looking for some fabulous attire that affirms your gender and expands your wardrobe? Got any unused clothes or accessories you want to trade or donate? Get those hats, scarves, shoes, (bow)ties, purses and anything else you want to give away to a new home. Sorry, Isolde N Barron, but they have heard about you so this year no bottom undergarments please. Bras are fine. If you are bringing clothes or accessories, please show up at 6pm to allow time to lay things out for browsing.
6–8pm. John Braithwaite Community Youth Centre, 145 W 1st St, North Vancouver. Free. whatsonqueerbc.com
Tuesday, July 18
Although Ms Cobblah was back last week, I thought I’d give her a week to remember how to run a show before I dropped her in it. Come on down and see Peach Cobblah in her authentic Zebra — cough, polyester — outfit, sip some cocktails and hear some cock tales.
10pm–3am. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/1181Lounge/
Wednesday, July 19
Queer Straight Alliance Afternoon for Teens
We should all promote groups for our younger counterparts. Try to remember what it was like for us when we had nothing like these groups to support and guide us. If you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, two-spirit or as an ally, this program is for you. Come join in for games, crafts, movie nights and discussions. Network with other Gay-Straight Alliances in the Surrey area. Organizers promise a safe, positive and friendly space. Snacks included. For teens ages 13-19.
2:30–4:30pm. Guilford Library, 15050–105 Ave, Surrey. Free. surreylibraries.ca/teens