Thursday, July 14
Pancakes & Booze Art Show
Brings back memories of my youth in New Westminster. Underage and drinking until I couldn’t walk, then hanging out for hours eating pancakes at IHOP to sober up before heading home to parents. These days, there are no parents to avoid, so a place that offers free pancakes and booze needs checking out. Plus there is an art show thrown in with 50 artists, body painting, performances by Skylar and Timothy Ross. Did I mention booze?
7pm–12am. The Fortune Sound Club, 147 E Pender St. Cover $5. facebook.com/events/504881063034910/
Friday, July 15
Refuge: Sanctuary & City
I’m not so big on choirs, but after seeing a show by this group last year, I would encourage everyone to at least check it out. You may leave converted to choirs. This show runs for two nights in two venues. Cor Flammae, Vancouver’s summer chorus of queer classically trained singers, presents an exploration of both found and created safety and shelter, with premieres of new compositions by Vancouver composers Shane Raman and Michael Park, plus works by Peter Tchaikovsky, Joan Szymko, Stephen Smith, Rodney Sharman and Dominique Phinot.
Here’s the full image of the Cor Flammae choir. (Anna Anaka/Cor Flammae)
Sanctuary: Friday, July 15. 7:30pm. Christ Church Cathedral, 690 Burrard St.
City: Saturday, July 16. 7:30pm. Pyatt Hall, VSO School of Music, 843 Seymour St.
Tickets $30 general, $20 student for each show. corflammae.com
Faux Girls Pride Edition
From what I hear, when the Empress is away, the imperial daughters play. Sienna is on a trip to Winnipeg, and her two very liberal, scantily clad and always horny daughters, Berlin and Glitteris, are in charge of tonight’s show. Anything can happen and with those two it usually does. No one is safe. It’s going to make for a very entertaining show, and I wouldn’t miss it for anything.
9:30pm–3am. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. facebook.com/events/582433985262800/
It may be two weeks until Pride events start, but if the women want to party don’t get in their way. DJ Tanner will play everything from dance to old school classics, with a few surprises thrown in.
10pm–3am. Playhouse Nightclub, 1240 Thurlow St. Tickets $10 at Little Sister’s, 1238 Davie St or flygirlproductions.com
Saturday, July 16
Fraser Valley Pride
When you travel around to different local Pride celebrations, you can learn so many things, not to mention relive your glory years when everyone was after your ass (until you did every queen around). Here is your chance to travel locally and be the freshest meat in town once again. A short drive away for a full day of entertainment and a parade, followed by a drag show, dinner and a dance.
11am–4pm. Pride Festival, Jubilee Park, 32315 South Fraser Way, Abbotsford. Free admission.
5:30pm–late. Drag, Dinner & Dance, 33738 Laurel St, Abbotsford. Tickets $50 at firstname.lastname@example.org
I have to admit I was fairly inebriated at my first marriage ceremony (it was to a woman, need I say more?) but today on Davie you can take part in your own mock wedding where the minister is Blasted. Marquis Wine hosts a wine sampling event, featuring limited editions of Holy Matrimony and Marital Bliss, and will also set up a miniature chapel outside for attendees to partake in their own mock wedding ceremony, officiated by a Blasted “minister.” Pre-Pride wedding followed by a Recovery Cruise divorce — now that is a souvenir memory to take home.
12–4pm. Marquis Wine Cellars, 1034 Davie St. facebook.com/blastedchurch/
Only Alma B Itches and Berlin could get away with this, and I take no responsibility for the following. The poster looks remarkably like a tampon box, and the headline is “It only happens once a month.” Yes it’s true: Berlin and Alma have been working so closely that their flows have synchronized to bring you a heavy night of dancing and performances. Opening set by DJ Drew, closing set by SPRLVR and a continuous stream of spotlight performances and go-go boys all night.
9pm–3am. The Odyssey, 686 W Hastings St. Cover TBA. facebook.com/events/1050360318350813/
Well the old gal is another year older and just improving with age. Before you know it, she’ll be doing cartwheels and landing on her walker (an amazing feat with her new 38DD attachments). Tonight is one of many pre-Pride events and if Carlotta can’t get you in the mood, nobody can. That Gurl is so convincing she can get a corpse to pop a boner. Join her tonight for a spectacular show filled with live numbers, drag and surprise guests.
10pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. junctionpub.com/
Lick Club: Queer Fam-Jam 1 Year Anniversary
When I first heard of Lick Club I thought Lick is for women as Jax (see Sunday) is for men, and I thought how liberal of them: the ladies have their own slurp ramp. But believe it or not, I was wrong. Tonight Lick Reunited and Queer Fam-Jam bring you a pre-Pride bash honouring and highlighting the history our progress and the future of our queer community. DJs Denise, Skylar Love, T and Zeal, along with performances by Owen and The Pretty Boys, will keep you energized all night.
10pm–3am. The Hindenburg, 23 W Cordova St. Cover $10 (but nobody will be turned away for lack of funds, please send an email with a minimum of 24 hours’ notice to email@example.com to enquire).
Sunday, July 17
Pride is coming up: time to make sure all the equipment works, especially in front of others, nothing worse than a limp hose when all eyes are on your meat. The main focus of Jax is on self-pleasure and sharing the experience of stroking in front of other likeminded gay, bisexual and curious guys. Strip down, sit back on the bench and go for it. If your balls hang over the bench, I’ll text you my number. No dress code and nudity is definitely okay. Free lube, water and coat check provided.
2–5pm. Club 8×6, 1775 Haro St. Cover $5 under 25, otherwise $10. 8×6.ca
Caliente Nights: Chicanas
For those of you not as linguistically skilled as I, Chicana means a woman of Mexican descent, and tonight artists of Latina background are going to be celebrated at Junction.
10pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. facebook.com/events/876663909123042/
Sanctuary Sunday With Flawless Shade
I thought Conni Smudge had changed her name because if anyone can throw shade, it’s her. But this beauty, Flawless Shade, hails from Portland and is stopping in Vancouver on her single-province tour (that means she is up for the weekend) to join Sister Alma’s church group on Davie. You will be sweating out those sins on the dance floor when a shirtless DJ Riley Cox offers all you heathens Cummunion after the show. It’s a dance party to exorcise your demons and shed your confining clothing.
10pm–1am. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/events/1036700229739440
Monday, July 18
The community really needs to get someone to plan these types of events for the over-45 crowd. Kids shouldn’t be the only ones having this much fun. This is a five-day summer bike camp designed to empower girls, trans and queer-identified youth to fix their own bikes, ride with confidence and engage creatively with the city’s bike community. From fixing flats, to group rides, to bicycle polo, to bicycle arts and more. Facilitated entirely by experienced bicycle mechanics instructors, artists, and athletes who are women, trans, and/or queer-identified. Runs Monday, July 18 to Friday, July 22.
Men speed-dating is so different: we just ask three quick questions: top/bottom, raw/wrapped, now/right now. We don’t need the other six minutes and 45 seconds to decide; that’s how we meet new friends. But women apparently prefer a little more class and sophistication. This is not traditional speed-dating, either: it’s sharing a meal and some wine around a communal table, like a family dinner if all your relatives were lesbians. Seating is randomly assigned to ensure new connections, with an opportunity to meet new folks at dessert.
Queer Prov 10th Anniversary
Tonight Vancouver’s queer improv group celebrates 10 years of taking the most mundane audience suggestions and spinning them into comedy gold. Come prepared to laugh till you pee, just a bit.
8pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No cover. facebook.com/queerprov/
Tuesday, July 19
Gays, Games And Testing
I love games, real games, not just trying to figure out which dick on Pokepeen (yes, that’s a real site on Tumblr) is Del Stamp’s. Tonight is all about Smash Bros, Mario Kart 8, board games and more, all to help guys make new friends and at the same time get a chance to get tested. Nurses will be available and offering HIV/STI testing for those that want it, or to answer any health questions you might have. Testing is free and confidential and will put you at ease before the onslaught of Pride romances.
5:30–8:30pm. Mpowerment Headquarters, 568 Seymour St. Free event. facebook.com/events/1707615256168885
Wednesday, July 20
Q2Q: A Symposium On Queer Theatre & Performance In Canada
This five-day conference brings together the artists, producers, curators and administrators contributing to the diversity of LGBT live arts scenes and cultures across the country. Take part in roundtable discussions, networking events and new-play readings.
9am daily. Runs until Sunday, July 24. SFU Woodward’s, 149 W Hastings St. Full conference schedule at q2qconference.com. All events are free and open to the public. Please RSVP to firstname.lastname@example.org. More info: facebook.com/events/163463690733270/