Friday, July 24
Like many other men, I’ve travelled to Montreal and had my own XXX-rated experiences at Stock Bar in the personal lap-dance rooms. Many a traveller’s cheque was, for lack of a better visual, deposited in the Bootybox of a handsome stranger. You too can have that experience tonight as HoneyPot brings you a night of dancing, go-go lessons and, from 9–11pm, private personal go-go time with the dancer of your choice. DJs Jeffery Michael and GingerBear Todd will handle the hot dirty tunes and you can handle the rest. All you need is your wallet, your nerve and a bottle of Purell. 9pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. $5 cover after 10pm. More information here on Facebook.
Saturday, July 25
Celebration Of Light
The first night of three that most West Enders dread: the invasion of suburbanites marching down Davie Street, Big Gulps in hand, backpacks full of snacks and masses of children in tow. But can you really blame them for making the trek to watch the best fireworks in the country? Those of us who live in the area are lucky enough to plan ahead and weasel our way onto a rooftop or patio party way above the maddening crowd. (Invite me, please!) Tonight enjoy China, on Wednesday, July 29 oooh and ahhh at Brazil, and on Saturday, Aug 1, be patriotic and cheer for Canada’s contribution. 10pm. English Bay, foot of Davie Street at Denman Street. hondacelebrationoflight.com
Picnic In The Park
Those of you who are older than God, like me, will remember this as the Teddy Bear Picnic from years ago. Not much has changed over the years. I started out in the beer garden and seem to still be there, along with all the other diehards who watch rather than partake in the tug-of-war (I tried it once on a dare and it wasn’t pretty), the drag race, the shoe toss and other games. Doggy day care has been added and some of the best local DJs keep the crowd hopping. 10am–6pm. Brockton Oval, Stanley Park. Free shuttle from 11am–4pm from the Fountainhead Pub, 1025 Davie St, and Independent Grocery, 1255 Davie St. Free entry. More information here on their Facebook page.
Sunday, July 26
Heat: Pride Kickoff T-Dance
Apparently we needed a new hipster coffee place in town, but I’m told this one is different. This one now hosts parties and T-dances, and is licensed with a 3–7pm happy hour. Today’s T-dance features DJs Sollors and Nick Bertossi, three levels, including a private terrace, and will be hosted by Symone Says. 3–7pm. Container Coffee, 1100 Burrard St. $10 at door. containercoffee.ca
Tuesday, July 28
Sister Mary’s A Dyke?!
I saw this and thought someone had written about my sister Mary who, at 13, had a better moustache than me. This, however, is a new play by Flerida Peña about Abby, “a Catholic school girl who discovers that not everything is at it seems at Crown of Thorns Academy. All of Abby’s notions about herself and the church are turned on their head in this coming-of-age, coming-out comedy.” Part of the Queer Arts Festival and co-produced by the frank theatre, this one-woman show starring local performer Kim Villagante runs until Sunday, Aug 2. 7:30pm. Performance Centre, Roundhouse, 181 Roundhouse Mews. Tickets $20 at queerartsfestival.com
Wednesday, July 29
Wet & Wild
Believe it or not, Davie Street now has a shower in one of the bars and no, it is not for the patrons — although a few could use it, let me tell you. I can see myself after many a cocktail attempting to climb in to wash a poor boy’s back . . . Tonight the water will be flowing, DJ Nick Bertossi will be spinning and the patio will be open. 1pm–3am. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. $3 cover. pumpjackpub.com
Thursday, July 30
If you know Del Stamp and Barb Snelgrove, you’ll understand this post. If you don’t, go to this night and learn why they hold the titles of Vancouver’s Filthiest Woman and Infamous Filth Pig. I’ll let you decide which one’s which. This has become Pride’s trashiest night and one of the best nights of the year — the night that you compete for the grand title of Dirt Bag (and an Apple Watch). Wet T-Shirt, Best Buns, Best Blowjob, Best Balls competitions— they have it all. “If you’re easily offended, you might wanna sit this one out,” Del Stamp suggests. 7pm. Numbers Cabaret, 1042 Davie St. Cover TBA. More details here on Facebook.
New York: Pride
Editor’s note: This event has now (as of July 22) been postponed until September.