(On Wednesdays until Oct 8, 2015, learn the passionate steps of the tango, depicted here by actors Jon Hudson and Alex Mills in a 2013 presentation of playwright Daniel MacIvor’s 2-2 Tango at Studio 2ndStage in Washington, DC./Photo by Igor Dmitry.)
Wednesday, Sept 23
As you can probably guess, I don’t have the attention span to read a whole book. I try, but even with the Joy of Gay Sex, I only looked at the pictures, and lube made the pages stick together so god knows I am probably doing it all wrong. Somehow I don’t think that will be the problem at Word Vancouver, billed as Western Canada’s largest celebration of literacy and reading, featuring 20 workshops, 150 authors and 100 readings. Some of this year’s featured authors include Stan Persky, Michael V Smith, and Helen Polychronakos, along with many others. Also noted are books with queer themes such as For Your Own Good, Where The Words End and My Body Begins, Sideshow Concessions, and more all found in the online schedule. Starting today and culminating in the main festival on Sunday, Sept 27 at Library Square at the central branch of the Vancouver Public Library, 350 W Georgia St. Organizers promise plenty of exhibits, readings and talent — even for the diehard illiterate like myself. This is a family-friendly event so there will be lots of activities for kids as well. For a full schedule of events, locations and times go to wordvancouver.ca.
Thursday, Sept 24
Vancouver International Film Festival
Summer of Sangaile and Nasty Baby are just two of the LGBT films playing at this year’s Vancouver International Film Festival — check out Daily Xtra’s picks and the festival’s online schedule for many more. VIFF runs until Friday, Oct 9. For full schedule, times, venues, and tickets go to viff.org.
Friday, Sept 25
How can one bar have everything that makes me horny? First they put in a shower stall big enough for two, where guys can watch. Then they add go-go boys who look like they stuff their shorts a lot, but they don’t — I checked. Now fall means the return of line-dancing sessions, with the super-hot cowboy instructor whose toes I did kind of mangle last year, oops. No tequila this time, I promise. You too can join me tonight — let’s get our hoedown! (And by hoedown, I don’t mean Del Stamp after a night of tequila DJing.) Two-stepping and line-dancing plus a free lesson at 8pm. See you there! 7–10pm. PumpJack Pub, 1167 Davie St. pumpjackpub.com
Stretch Your Way To Well Being
Years ago, I saw some inspiring porn where a guy sucked his own dick. So off I went to yoga for a few weeks, fingers crossed. When the night came to try, I lit some candles, poured some wine and put on soft music, all for my personal date night. And, you guessed it, I threw my back out before I even got to taste the tip. Maybe I took the wrong yoga class. Here is my chance to try again. This weekly workshop offers new, effective, safe techniques to stretch, both on your own or with a partner. 7–8:30pm. Rogues West Actor’s Studio, 400-1026 Davie St (above Celebrities). Brought to you by the Health Initiative for Men. The class is free but donations are appreciated. Register at 604-488-1001 or email email@example.com. For more information go to checkhimout.ca.
Vancouver Art & Leisure Anniversary
I tried several times to go to one of Matt Troy’s events, but never got the chance as Backdoor always got me thinking in another direction and I never made it past Steamworks for my own Backdoor party. Then there was the “secret party” — I paid attention all week but missed the text telling me where to go on the night of the party. (Yes, that one I did take personally.) Tonight’s party celebrates the Art & Leisure society’s first anniversary. Matt says the party is for all genders, abilities and orientations — gay, straight or even a bit bent. Three rooms of music, art performance, installations and site-specific interventions. Come see what VAL can create. 10pm. Vancouver Art & Leisure, 1965 Main St. Cover TBA. facebook.com/events/1493205910997824/
Saturday, Sept 26
The Empress Tea & Cake Auction
Gay High Tea — you know this is going to be the gayest event to hit New Westminster since I moved away after high school! Hosted by ICP XI Reneluv Black and Crown Prince XI Masin, this formal high tea requests your finest attire. Dust off the family jewels and show them what you’ve got. Admission includes high tea sandwiches, fresh fruit, and hot and iced coffee and teas. This is a fundraiser where all proceeds will be allocated to The Regalia Fund. 1–3pm. 726 12th St, New Westminster. Admission $10. facebook.com/events/747082625404758/
This is another of hottie Matt Troy’s events, this time co-presented with Sin City. When parts of my nether regions start throbbing, tingling and moving of their own accord just because I am reading the event listing, then this is an event for me. In addition to three rooms and 12 DJs, this party promises kink and sex playrooms, fetish drag performers, live visuals, and five rooms of sexy and naughty nooks to explore. If you can fantasize it, you can most likely do it here. 10pm. Vancouver Art & Leisure, 1965 Main St. Tickets $20 at ticketzone.com, Stratosphere Hair Salon, 1259 Granville St or Little Sister’s, 1238 Davie St. facebook.com/events/572424089567500/
Belle Diablo Burlesque
I love burlesque. At straight shows there are usually so many horned up straight boys in the audience that a well-placed (accidental, of course) brush of the hand against straining genitals is always a good icebreaker. This show is probably going to draw a huge audience of gay boys and lesbians, though, as these women are Babes with a capital B. A night of drama, comedy, sex, drag and lots and lots of titties — this is the place to be. Members of Belle Diablo will be joined by Moaning Lisa Neill Larinnie and Kitty Smails, along with MC Heather Boa. 7pm doors, 8pm show. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Cover $10. facebook.com/bellediablo
Sunday, Sept 27
The Sweet & Sticky Show
I love going to this monthly show just for the pleasure of saying I’m in a sweet and sticky place. (A bit like blackout night at 8×6 — sticky for sure, but I’m sure as hell not going to taste what’s flying at me from all directions! That’s more like sticky and desperate.) Tonight Katy Hairy brings you the only drag show in Kitsilano with performances by Alma B Itches, Pixie McQueen and Virginia Lynn. 8pm cocktails, 9:30pm show time. Displace Hashery, 3293 West 4th Ave. $10 at the door. facebook.com/events/396228930559360/
Wednesday, Sept 30
Learn to Tango
When a six-foot-eight man goes to a dance class, do you know what happens? The shortest man there picks you as his partner, every time, and I spend most of the night trying not to get stiff because my penis is between his pecs. And he knows it. Maybe I’ll give it another try tonight at this weekly class where you can learn the Argentine Tango. Get close and connected — don’t say I didn’t warn you! — to your fellow dancers through this passionate and expressive style of dance and music. Bring your best dancing shoes (no black rubber) and wear comfortable clothing. Class runs weekly until Thursday, Oct 8. 7–8:30pm. St Paul’s Anglican Church, 1130 Jervis St. By donation. For more information or to register, call 604-488-1001 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. More info at checkhimout.ca.