Thursday, Sept 29
I was confused at first — like most days — when I received an email that said, “Got VIFF?” Being a one-track-minded person, I immediately thought it was a new STD but finally realized it was an invite to the Vancouver International Film Festival. This year VIFF has restructured things, creating multi-experiential streams that include some of the best cinema from around the world fused with related talks and events in a unique film-plus model. There’s also a wide array of LGBT selections such as Weirdos, 1:54, The Handmaiden and many more.
Festival runs until Friday, Oct 14. Single tickets $13-$15, ticket packs $60-$375. For a rundown of shows, times, venues and other info, visit viff.org
I’ve watched dragon boaters sliding across the water of English Bay in the early morning and thought, “Are they crazy?” Can you picture my 6’7”, long-legged frame all bunched up in one of those vessels, with other rowers splashing icy water in my face — and did I mention it’s usually 5am? Parts of me are not working at that time, especially the ones that shrivel in the cold. And yet I do know people love it, so here’s your chance to learn. HIM is providing a class open to all gay men to participate in technique training, drills, workouts, race prep and even be part of a team in a dragon boat festival.
7-9pm. False Creek Racing Canoe Club, 1318 Cartwright St, Granville Island. Class runs until Friday, Nov 25. Free or by donation but please register by email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Info at checkhimout.ca
Angels In America
Let’s be honest, if there are angels in America, at this point they’re investigating the possibility of moving to Canada. This Pulitzer-Prize winner for drama, as well as a handful of other awards, is a work of art. Set during the AIDS epidemic in Reagan-era New York City, the play follows two very different, but equally troubled young couples, one gay and the other seemingly heterosexual. Utilizing everything from precise realism to surrealistic hallucination, and wicked humour to wrenching drama, the play not only examines matters of life, death and faith, but is a political call to arms in the age of AIDS.
Friday, Sept 30
If you are like me, I know you’ve have spent all summer practising your cattle calls and do-si-dos in preparation for Pumpjack’s monthly Timberline Hoedown. Okay, so I didn’t practise all that much unless you count drinking bourbon and watching Best Little Whorehouse in Texas —specifically, the locker-room dance scene — over and over. Tonight Timberline brings you gay/lesbian/queer line dancing, barn dancing and two-stepping. I’m not sure how it varies from the straight version but I’m itching to find out. There’s a free lesson at 8pm so we don’t look like total novices.
7-10pm. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. No cover before 9pm. facebook.com/events/300488916984291/
Junction Lip Sync Battle
If you are one of those Spike trash-TV junkies then you know all about this showdown where contestants vie for the weekly title of best of the best for moving your lips while engaged in your own four-minute Las Vegas show number. Davie Village now has its own version with some similarities to the original — just reversed a bit. There’s a trashy, blonde female DJ, there’s DJ Drew, a buff LL Cool J hosts, and Kamella Barr, the thinner, illegitimate sister of Rosanne Barr, will be on hand — nuff said.
9pm-3am. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. facebook.com/events/259540914444832/
Saturday, Oct 1
Looking for an afternoon of fun? Check out doggy playtime, Van-Pah’s monthly mosh where dogs and their handlers socialize while the pups romp, play, explore and sniff every butt in the bar. Looking for extra fun? Hide a human-friendly doggie treat in your shorts and see if it gets sniffed out.
2-4pm. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. No cover. vanpah.com/
On the other end of the spectrum — in the same bar, at the same time — get your pig on as Vancouver Rubbermen bring in their gear and lots of toys and items to try out. If you’ve ever been curious about wearing rubber or trying out rubber bondage, this is a great opportunity to give it a go.
2-5pm. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/groups/454330908032463/
Queer Swarm Kink Party
This sounds like what surrounds me when I walk into a club — I wish. It’s all about a fun afternoon for all bodies and all genders to get your queer kink play and sex-party fix. They encourage silliness, group scenes, and any other hot stuff you like. This is a scent-free event: no perfumes or colognes, and no smelly hair products.
4-8pm. Maritime Labour Centre, 1880 Triumph St. Entry $10 or pay what you can, nobody will be turned away for lack of cash. whatsonqueerbc.com/event/queer-swarm/
Out On Screen’s 14th Annual Fall Gala
An amazing group that supports both the award-winning Out in Schools program and the Vancouver Queer Film Festival by having a fun charity event featuring a cocktail party, live art auction, mega prize raffle and performances by Isolde N Barron. Show up in whatever makes you feel beautifully yourself and come out, come out, whoever you are.
Hot One Inch Action
At first I thought this was a convention of one-inch guys in town. I can’t think of any I know (cough, cough, Sydney) but then I clued in that it’s an original concept by Jim Hoehnie and his partner Chris Bentzen. It’s a one-night-only show of original button art reproduced on one-inch buttons which are displayed on the gallery wall. Attendees are can buy randomly selected buttons in mixed bags of five for $5. Didn’t get the button you want, trade with the people around you. How bad do you want that button and what will you do for it?
I would love to see a few of our own bad girls in a show about a women’s prison. Picture it: Carlotta or Conni Smudge as prison bitches servicing Pod Boss Joan-E. From the sounds of it this show will be as entertaining. Set in a fictional women’s prison — English, of course — it is the story of wing governor Helen Stewart, 12 inmates, and their battles behind bars. Thrown in for good measure is a love story between Helen and inmate Nikki Wade. Bad Girls has made its way across the pond and is set to have its Canadian premiere in Vancouver.
Pump It Up
This is a seminar I’ll be hosting on the joys of penis pumping with a pump or suction attachment on your home vacuum cleaner. If you believe that then I have an island to sell you. Pump is all about celebrating men who love their leather, rubber or fetish gear whether it’s adorning your head or just the good parts in the middle. I’ll be around if you need a friendly, and very large hand to stuff things into place. The DJ we most want to Pump, DJ Mumbles, will take care of the tunes.
9pm. Pumpjack Pub, 1167 Davie St. $5 cover but free if you are in leather, rubber or fetish wear. pumpjackpub.com/
Attention all femmes — male or female. Tonight is a celebration of all femmes in this fierce territory. They’re going to make like Jada in Magic Mike XXL and give you the femme palace you deserve. All genders and gender presentations are welcome in this queer-inclusive space. You do you in all your glittering femme magic.
10pm-3am. Red Gate Arts Society. 855 East Hastings St. $10-$15 sliding scale, no one turned away for lack of funds. facebook.com/events/1117342965020055/
Sunday, Oct 2
SweetNSticky: Final Issue
Get out the handi wipes and clean yourself off, it’s time for the final show of SweetNSticky — sad but true. Katy Hairy brings you one last kick at the Kat in a final tribute show. Come see a great show and shed a few tears as almost every queen who has done one of these shows comes back to say goodbye, farewell, auf wiedersehen — wait that’s another show, which also has a few queens, but that’s a different story. As long as Alma B Itches gets off the stage and lets the others on it will be a great night. Still, Kitsilano will never be the same again.
8pm-12am. Displace Hashery, 3293 West 4th Ave. Tickets at door $10. facebook.com/events/1850726801817767/
Tuesday, Oct 4
Men Over 55
The only way you will get me into a men-over-a-certain-age group will be to have go-go boys, or a shower stall located in the middle of the room with an open bar. Not that I am against it, but since I am of daddy age, a room full of daddies doesn’t do anything for me — but that’s just my opinion. If you are an older male and are looking for a safe place to talk, listen and share experiences of aging with other men, then this is your group. Topics include growing older, Understanding issues of isolation, motivation, finances, physical health, and sex are among the discussion topics.
7-8:30pm. 310-1033 Davie St. For more information or to register, call 604-488-1001 or email email@example.com. checkhimout.ca/ai1ec_event/men-55-with-him/?instance_id=24277
Dirty Little Secrets
Now this is the column I should have. I have lots of personal secrets and I could find out other peoples’ and see if you could guess who we are talking about. XY is bringing you a hit improv show that has been running in New York’s East Village. Check out dirtylittlesecretsimprov on Instagram to find out past secrets. Do yours measure up, are they torrid, and can you name names? Dr Spill will be collecting your secrets and a cast of top improvisers will be exploring them on the stage.
7:30-9pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No cover. facebook.com/events/642343215941799/
Wednesday, Oct 5
XY Piano Lounge
Now after all those events have wound you up or hung-over as hell, what you need is a relaxing night of piano tunes, a cocktail and hunky bartenders like Ryan Steele to gaze at while you wonder, “Why the hell am I sitting here alone?” Sing, drink, listen, laugh and — you never know — maybe Mr Right is just a few seats away.
8pm. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. No cover. facebook.com/events/1027928297305056/