1 min


The Public Display of Affection is a very charming thing — quick, spontaneous and lovely:

Unless you're gay.  Then it's an arrest for "lewd conduct."

This weekend, 'kiss-in' protests were held in both Salt Lake City, Utah and El Paso, Texas after two male couples were cited by the police for kissing in public. And they say romance is dead!

I like the kiss-in because it's all about visibility.  Homophobes don't want to be reminded of gay sex, gay love or gay Camaro go-go boys.  Well, okay, that last one is simply General Motors spokesman Dave Barthmuss, who said GM's sassy car wash video promoting the Camaro and the 'Transformers' movie back in June "was not appropriate and not in good taste."  Ever sensitive towards the public, GM pulled the video, laid off 2000 workers and asked the government for another 10 billion dollars.

Speaking of bailouts, I tried to throw "gossip gangstar" Perez Hilton a bone during his Hell Week by arguing that, like him or not, he still has every right to voice his opinions.  But now it turns out that they're not even his opinions.  Oh Perez, you plagarizing putz, maybe it's time to listen to your pal John Mayer.

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation criticized Hilton and now the new movie 'Bruno' but who's listening?  The comedy opened this weekend at number one with a $30-million haul.  That'll buy a lot of anal beaching!

But let Perez and Bruno play the fool — their desperate attention-whoring just makes the everyday gay PDA seem simple, sweet even. Eventually, we'll be left alone to live our lives however we like because most people won't be paying attention to us or even their own feet.  Until then, here's one thing we can all agree on: guinea pigs eating watermelon.  Adorable!