Blogs & Columns
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Pedro and Buddy for life

The Toronto Zoo plans on separating two gay African penguins. Pedro, 10, and Buddy, 20, were brought to the Toronto Zoo from Pittsburgh earlier this year to mate with females. The only problem is, Pedro and Buddy aren’t interested. During the day they play with a dozen other penguins, but at the end of the night when it’s time for a cup of chamomile last swim and a blowjob cloacal kiss, Pedro and Buddy always pair off together. They even go through mating rituals! Penguins pair off “for life,” and mating is a sign of happiness and contentment.

Despite their bond, the Toronto Zoo insists that splitting them up will help preserve the species. In the ‘90s, there were an estimated 225,000 African penguins living in the wild. Because of drastic climate changes, that number has since dropped to about 60,000. 

"We have to keep an eye on the population all the time, because if we let things slide, we could lose the population forever,” Tom Mason, curator for birds and invertebrates at Toronto Zoo, said in a statement. “Two girls have been following them,” he continued. “We just have to get the boys interested in looking at them. If Pedro and Buddy weren’t genetically important, we’d let them do their thing."

I don’t know what’s sadder: the fact that penguins could very possibly be extinct by the end of the century or that Pedro and Buddy are about to lose the most important thing in their lives — each other! I understand why it has to be done, but it still seems so unfair. Can’t the zoo just get them to knock up a girl and then reunite them? It’s bad enough they’re in captivity; they shouldn’t be deprived of love and companionship!

Come on, Toronto Zoo, improvise! Where there’s a will, there’s a way.