Toronto Diary
6 min

Play space, personal space

Aug 10 was supposed to be the Surge Women and Trans bar night at the Eagle here in Toronto. It was supposed to be a private party for women and trans folk to have a safe space to play in the Village. Unfortunately, a few interpreted the fact that the bar night was exclusively for women and trans people as discrimination and essentially had the night nixed.

It’s not like I had any chance of going, but I didn’t begrudge them for having a party and not inviting me. Of course, I have friends who are kinky lesbians or kinky trans folk; they’re entitled to a night for themselves. It wasn’t a matter of discriminating against those who weren’t like them so much as it was an opportunity to spend a night with those like them.

It’s unfortunate that someone saw an evening meant to encourage safe play amongst a specific group of people as discrimination, because I honestly doubt it was. I understand the basic idea behind it — discriminating against people is bad, we all know that — but a women- and trans-only play party isn’t discrimination. It’s just a matter of getting people together who would want to have sex with each other. 

Sadly, the party in principle is over. It would have been nice to see the party come to fruition; people are allowed a night to themselves. That doesn’t mean they’re trying to push everyone else away from them; they just want to carve out a little space for their own within the larger community. It’s not too much to ask for, is it? 

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