Toronto Diary
1 min

Play with your balls, save your life

Pop quiz! What’s the best way to get men to check themselves for testicular cancer? Simple: just remind them that it’s as simple as fondling their vanilla beans every once in a while. Because really, what man doesn’t enjoy feeling up a nice pair of cojones?

Mind you, that ad isn’t exactly . . . informative. Funny, but not informative. What’s the best way to check your balls for cancer? Here’s a simple step-by-step guide if you’re curious:

  1. The best place to check is a warm shower or bath. The hot water relaxes the skin of the scrotum, which makes it easier to feel around down there. It also offers a little privacy, because it’s generally frowned upon to play with the twins in public.
  2. One nut at a time, gently roll your goods between your fingers. Mind the spermatic cords and the bundle of connective tissue between your eggs and your vas deferens: those are lumps, but those are natural, harmless parts of the biology. 
  3. You’re looking for tiny, firm lumps located on the front or sides. They can be roughly the size of a pea or smaller, and they’re not necessarily painless. Also, generally speaking, any changes in size or colour down there are cause to see a doctor. Don’t panic, but seeing a doctor never hurts.
  4. If you don’t feel anything, feel free to get a second opinion from a friend. A sexy friend. Feel free to check his too.

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