Pop quiz! What’s the best way to get men to check themselves for testicular cancer? Simple: just remind them that it’s as simple as fondling their vanilla beans every once in a while. Because really, what man doesn’t enjoy feeling up a nice pair of cojones?
Mind you, that ad isn’t exactly . . . informative. Funny, but not informative. What’s the best way to check your balls for cancer? Here’s a simple step-by-step guide if you’re curious:
- The best place to check is a warm shower or bath. The hot water relaxes the skin of the scrotum, which makes it easier to feel around down there. It also offers a little privacy, because it’s generally frowned upon to play with the twins in public.
- One nut at a time, gently roll your goods between your fingers. Mind the spermatic cords and the bundle of connective tissue between your eggs and your vas deferens: those are lumps, but those are natural, harmless parts of the biology.
- You’re looking for tiny, firm lumps located on the front or sides. They can be roughly the size of a pea or smaller, and they’re not necessarily painless. Also, generally speaking, any changes in size or colour down there are cause to see a doctor. Don’t panic, but seeing a doctor never hurts.
- If you don’t feel anything, feel free to get a second opinion from a friend. A sexy friend. Feel free to check his too.