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Porn pic pops up in Tory youth campaign

STOCK SHOCK, TAKE ONE. A recruitment campaign from the federal Tories targeting university students.

It’s easy to assume the federal Conservatives are antisex but a recent ad campaign suggests that the Tories are more comfortable with the deed than you might think.

Liberal bloggers have discovered that the Conservative Party’s youth wing and the website Stolenpornvideos.com are using the same stock picture of a shocked young woman in their print and web advertising. If you’ve never been to Stolenpornvideos.com it’s a website where assholes share homemade sex videos to embarrass their soon-to-be ex-girlfriends. The ads for the site proclaim next to the stock photo girl, “Her biggest fear became a shocking new reality” and “The ultimate betrayal of trust.”

A similar sentiment is implied in the Tory print ads, which were mailed to university students in January. “How do you freak out an ex who, let’s be honest, was a bit of a freak to begin with?” the ad reads. “Do something so extreme, so unbelievable, so taboo, that it’ll make your first date look tame by comparison. That’s right. We said it. Join the Conservatives.”

What message are they trying to send? They may as well say, “Join the Conservatives! We’re so distasteful — especially to women — that your ex will think you’ve gone bonkers!”

If they really want to use sex to reach young voters — and even in the absence of the porn lady image they’re calling her a “freak” in an obviously sexual way — the proper strategy should be obvious: Convince the reader that the only way to one-up your current girlfriend in the freakiness department is to join the Conservatives.

“Think last night with the handcuffs and hot wax was fun, babe? Check it. Tonight you’re having sex with a card-carrying Tory. I’ve put a poster of Stephen Harper on the ceiling for you and a Margaret Thatcher bust on the nightstand for me. The lights are dimmed and the stereo’s playing a tape of Peter Van Loan making with the crazy in the House of Commons on loop. My balls are Tory blue and my ‘small man of confederation’ is fully engorged.

“Tonight, we’ll both think what we’re doing is wrong.”