Arts & Entertainment
2 min

Porndoggy: Marcus Patrick

Super-hot actor has a tendency to show off his bulge

SHOW ME THE BULGE. The peripatetic Marcus Patrick keeps "sidetracking" Todd Klinck.

I got an email from trying to sell me a limited edition “personally signed” Halloween edition photo of hunky soap star Marcus Patrick. So I started Googling Patrick, remembering how fucking hot he is. I had to jerk off, twice. Which got me thinking about the porn you can find on Youtube or Dailymotion or any of the millions of free gay blogs out there.

Patrick is someone who fascinates me. I have only partially researched him, because I always get sidetracked and end up jerking off, but I’ve gathered some fragments: He’s a super-hot guy who was on All My Children and then Days of Our Lives. He was fired from Days of our Lives around the time he appeared nude in Playgirl magazine. He was in a boyband at one point. His solo singing career was managed by Simon Cowell of American Idol fame. He has stripped in gay clubs. He has a tendency to appear in white briefs go-go dancing with a visible erection. There are all kinds of videos of him online celebrating his bulge. In one video he plays the policeman fantasy to celebrity video blogging queer B Scott again with that visible erection. Not normal Hollywood celebrity style. You can tell he doesn’t have some uptight agent fussing over his every move. And I’m sure there is strategy to it — he’s got his own website with an eccentric collection of limited edition items and workout DVDs and I’m sure he’s making money somewhere. And he still gets cast in movies as well.

B. Scott’s “Circus” Fantasy Feat. Marcus Patrick from LOVEBSCOTT.COM on Vimeo.

I define porn as any visuals that help a viewer to orgasm so all of these Marcus Patrick free videos online are porn. I admire the motherfucker. It looks like he was trying to be a serious actor and said “Fuck it. I want to show people my bulge.” I would imagine it’s hard for mainstream people to even understand why he whored himself out the way he did. I assume he’s just a big exhibitionist and said, “I’m going to exploit this shit while I got it.” There is just such a sense of “Fuck the world” in everything that he does. He is uncategorizable.

While I’m a porn producer who is suffering financially from the onslaught of all these free video sites, I can’t responsibly deny their existence. Sometimes we want to pay for porn, sometimes we want to watch a hot guy dancing around with a bulge on Youtube. If you want a good Google video experience, I highly recommend searching for “Marcus Patrick,” lubing up and working on your release.