2 min

Putting the sexy back into HIV

You demand honesty from us but you can't handle the truth

 Like a lot of positive guys, I have two online profiles: one that discloses my HIV status and one that doesn’t.

Oddly enough, the positive profile generates more attention  — probably because my chest looks hotter  — but also because guys that are afraid to post their status glean towards those who do.

As a result, I’ve learned that a lot of hot guys I presumed to be negative are actually positive. They don’t want to date me, but you can’t have everything.

To borrow a line from Justin Timberlake, there has to be a way to put the sexy back into HIV. Here are all these sexy positive men hiding their status because of HIV stigma, when we could be dating and fucking each other.

Guys who disclose their status online tend to post torso shots as opposed to face pics; a friend does both. “I wish I had your balls,” I told him  — as well as his dick, chest and annual income.

“Whatever,” he harrumphed. “I’m healthier than most, even with the virus.”

That’s something a lot of negative guys forget.

An HIV-negative guy from Portugal messaged my chest: “U are poz u are a human as well!” Tell me something I don’t know. I’m not looking for validation, just some slap and tickle. However, I could be missing something in the translation. He did spell hottie with one T.

What’s more disturbing than being forced underground are men I know for certain to be positive but say they’re negative in their profiles.

I attribute this trend to the success of retrovirus drugs. Technically these guys can’t transmit the disease but that doesn’t make them negative. Is it really such a good idea to play fast and loose with semantics when gay guys are charging each other with assault even after they don’t get infected?

There’s this misconception that positive men hide their status from negative men because they’re a “catch”  — like fucking a straight guy. But really we’re just afraid of the repercussions. It’s not that you won’t sleep with us, it’s that you won’t even talk to us.

You demand honesty from us, but you can’t handle the truth.

Andrew Sullivan, the self-described HIV-positive conservative columnist, told me in an interview that if all the gay people in the Republican Party came out of the closet they would be forced to drop their homophobic agenda. The same could be said of the HIV-positive population.

If all us  — and not just the little people but the celebrities and politicians as well  — held hands and jumped into the deep end together people would see how extraordinarily common the virus really is. And how sexy we truly are.