Toronto Diary
1 min

Putting the X back in Xmas

I know that Christmas isn’t everyone’s favourite holiday. It’s all a little too goody, and the only people who enjoy it are kids, and quite frankly, Christmas is just fucking ruining them. Think about it: Santa Claus represents everything that is wrong with the world today. He gives 40 percent of the world’s presents to the richest and douchiest one percent of kids; he almost never works, instead letting thousands of lower-class people do all the menial tasks for him; and the one day of the year when he’s supposed to work, he just ends up getting bailed out by a cartoon character who has to “save Christmas.” When even Spongebob Squarepants can do your job better than you, God wants you to die.

But that’s okay, because if porn has taught me anything, it’s that anything can be made infinitely better with the inclusion of sex. So if you’re looking to spice up your holiday traditions this year, I present to you: the gingerbread sex dungeon!

Yes, that is a sex dungeon. Made of gingerbread. And believe me, it’s a lot more fulfilling to make than a fucking house. So get cracking and see what kind of perverted shit you can make out of cookies this holiday season! 

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