"How do you defend yourself against a man with two dildos?"
"Borat" star Sacha Baron Cohen aims to answer that in this summer's cheerfully offensive film "Bruno:"
Cohen is also reportedly working on a song for the movie that will include vocals by Bono, Chris Martin, Elton John and Madonna — all in a quest for his gay fashionista character to become "the biggest Austrian celebrity since Adolph Hitler."
"Where was Stephen Harper during the big G20 photo-op?"
The BBC reported that he was "in the loo" but Harper says no, "I was detained in some consultations with officials." We're going to split the difference and say that Harper was detained in the loo "consulting" with officials because hey, spreading rumours is fun!
"Can gays and straights share a White Party?"
Montreal promoter Michael Armstrong thinks so, as his Easter Weekend "Bal en Blanc" event is ready to go and more environmentally sound than ever. I've already done my part by recycling that last Stephen Harper joke!
"Who leaked the 'Wolverine' movie?"
I thought it was an April Fool's Day joke but no, you can download a rough cut of Hugh Jackman's new "X-Men" prequel from one of those nasty BitTorrent sites. I would never condone such a thing, of course — some things are worth seeing in IMAX:
"Do your parents know about safe sex?"
"Is it completely ridiculous to include Illinois Rep. John Shimkus on a climate change discussion panel?"
I'm gonna go with a big 'yes' on that one: