Sexual orientation
7 min

Red hot heterosexual love!

And there was the news:  Drew Barrymore went on a karoake date with my Jason Segal

Cow.

But it forced me to accept that, like it or not, despite my best ongoing efforts, some people will stubbornly remain heterosexual — even Daniel Craig, despite the photos from his Christmas vacation:

But that's okay. Some of my best friends are heterosexual and, believe it or not, gay activism is meant to help them too. Even though I may rail against the evil, evil straight people trying to revoke 18,000 marriages in California, for example, I'm always aware of the many, many more straight people who'll eventually be harmed by what these forces want.

You see, while social conservatives are clearly out to marginalize (if not eradicate) gay people, they won't stop there. While gay sex upsets them more than anything (even child molestation, apparently), their views on heterosexual sex aren't much more positive. Here's just a few recent examples:

three cops in Texas beat the 12-year-old girl they thought was a prostitute. That is seriously messed up.

— there is, of course, the ongoing creepiness of father-daughter "purity balls." Have you heard of these? Clive Barker couldn't make this shit up!

— meanwhile, there's yet another research study showing that such abstinence pledges don't work.

— the wingnuts are always going on about "protecting the Biblical definition of marriage" but the delightful bloggers at Pam's House Blend ask, which one?  In the Bible's seven types of marriage, there's polygamy, slavery and rape, oh my!

— and, speaking of rape, that's what national right-wing radio host Dennis Prager flirts with recommending as he advises good Christian women on how "mood should play little or no role in a woman's determining whether she has sex with her husband." Seriously!

In the end, it all amounts to the same thing: stamping down on "messy" sexuality for the benefit of a tidier, more orderly society — the kind of vision Dr. Strangelove delighted in, the kind of nightmare Margaret Atwood warned us all about:

Me, I'd rather live in a country where a doomsaying Margaret Atwood is proven wrong and the charming Zen reprobate Leonard Cohen is proven right because, ultimately, sexual freedom for gay people means sexual freedom for straight people. In 2009, we'll continue to advocate for that…even if that freedom extends to Jason Segal!