I’d never seen a reality TV show until I watched So You Think You Can Fuck: Season 3, so I suppose I should consider it a blessing that I was eased into the ignominious genre with porn, a type of show with which I’m very familiar. And while I’ve wiled away many an evening watching porn and wanking it furiously like a monkey on a particularly humid and lonely night in New Guinea, I doubt that, in all that wealth of experience, I’ve ever watched a whole porn video beginning to end, let alone all ten episodes of So You Think You Can Fuck: Season 3. It has truly been a week of firsts.
Over the course of ten weeks, one episode per week, two teams compete in a series of challenges, and their points are totalled up at the end. Each team is comprised of three pornstars, and two winners from previous seasons, Topher and Mitch, are team captains. Every episode begins with some kind of group challenge, like a canoe relay race or the somewhat more complex task of planning and executing a video against the online piracy of porn. Next comes one-on-one sex scenes, and then finally a panel of judges determines the winners of each sex scene.
It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s far more complex than probably any other porn I’ve watched. Is that a good thing? Well, it does provide more variation than porn often has, and seeing hunky guys competing and hanging out is often a hot build-up to the eventual fucking. On the other hand, the guys’ rugged images fall away pretty quickly when they attempt to do physical or outdoorsy activities. Cue Topher trying to use a compass, screwing it up, and describing it as “the basics, from the caveman days.”
While the format provides some variation, the guys are for the most part butch and beefy, with all the sensuality of a rhino tipping over a jeep. The only real exception is the twinkier Duncan, who is really tasty when he bottoms. The sex scenes all follow basically the same format, with some making-out on a dock or against a railing, followed by fucking in a few different positions, and the inevitable (and hilarious) slow-motion cumshot. Or, just when you thought you were safe, the slow-motion cumshot replay, complete with slowed down groaning sounds in the background! I prefer more variation in guys and in types of sex scenes – throw in a few tag-teams and some latex hoods or a cage and I’m in my element – but for those who just like rugged looking, tattooed, steamy guys, moaning and thrusting away on a deserted army base, So You Think You Can Fuck: Season 3 will provide. And the DVDs have an option that allows you to cut straight to the sex scenes if you want.