First it was David Letterman and now it's Donald Trump (again). Rosie O'Donnell isn't taking any shit these days, and so either her kabbalah bracelet has thinned and fallen off or girl is playing the celebrity feud game to help get publicity and ratings for The Rosie Show. Which desperately needs it! No one is watching, but it's not necessarily Ro's fault — no one is watching OWN. I've tried, but it's really just too much. I like Oprah enough and admire her ambition, but her network is like an insufferable self-help book where the author thinks she's Jesus. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a woman who puts her face on the cover of a magazine every month is also on every single show (and commercial!) on her OWN network.
Rosie's war of words with David Letterman started when he made a joke about her and her new fiancé in his Late Show opening monologue:
"The woman she's marrying, her fiancé, was driving and her car broke down. And guess what happened? Rosie pulls up right behind her in a tow truck."
Okay, not so funny. But kinda. Lesbian in a tow truck. Har har. I really don't think David meant any harm, but Rosie had a more homophobic interpretation, which led her to say in her OWN (get it?) show's opening monologue:
"Why is that, Dave? Why? I don't remember making fun of you when you had sex with all your interns! I didn't do that. I didn't make fun of your rampant, throbbing heterosexuality, did I Dave?"
Oh God. I just vomited a little thinking of David Letterman's "rampant, throbbing heterosexuality."
But Dave isn't the only one experiencing the wrath of Rosie. Her feud with Donald Trump was reignited after she bashed him on The Joy Behar Show for his intention to moderate a GOP debate, calling him Lord Voldemort.
Of course Donald, who you can tell just by glancing at his cancerous Oompa Loompa skin and prostitute wife is the most insecure billionaire on the planet, had to fight back on Twitter, attacking Rosie for her low ratings and for being an all-around failure. Rosie tweeted back, basically telling him to go fuck himself go bankrupt again. I'll spare you the tweets so you can preserve your brain cells. But if you're so inclined to indulge Donald's fragile ego, check out the video clip (below), where he literally takes responsibility for the success or failure of everything on television based on whether he likes the show's host or not. I kid you not! That's right, Donald: because the universe looks to see what makes your heart pitter-pat when deciding Nielsen ratings. If that were true, there would be nothing but coke-whore Miss Americas on every single network, you big orange douche.