Rosie O’Donnell’s wife breaks the first rule of gold-digging

It’s in the Heather Mills handbook (which has an eloquent foreword by Guy Ritchie), and everyone knows when they pull out the prenup you cry crocodile tears, act offended, hurt and embarrassed, and cross your heart and solemnly swear, “I’d never want your money.”

Didn’t your mother teach you anything?

Rosie O’Donnell has had a challenging year. The Rosie Show was cancelled, and she recently suffered a heart attack, known as the “widow maker.” She was lucky to survive, and so it’s no surprise that she wanted to marry her partner, Michelle Rounds (who she met in line at Starbucks!), as quickly as she could. The two wed in a private ceremony at Rosie’s home in Nyack, New York. Now Page Six has all the details on their prenuptial agreement because it’s totally our business:

While comedienne and talk-show host O’Donnell has been “extremely generous to Michelle in the prenup,” sources say, her 40-year-old bride “gets nothing if she cheats.” Lawyers for the pair had been in talks over the agreement since they were engaged last December. The couple, who had planned to marry in August, brought the wedding forward after Rounds was diagnosed with rare desmoid tumors, also known as aggressive fibromatosis, in June. She had surgery June 14. Meanwhile O’Donnell has also had health issues. She revealed Aug 20 that she recently suffered a heart attack.

Our source added, “Both women have health issues, but the prenup negotiations were pretty fraught in the days before the wedding. Rosie just wanted to get it signed under her terms. She wasn’t in the mood to make any compromises. Despite this, Rosie and Michelle truly love each other, and they wanted to marry before Michelle underwent surgery,” the source said.

One thing that’s often said about Rosie is that she’s a very generous person. She’s talked before about how she feels guilty having so much money, and it has been estimated that she has donated more than $100,000,000 to charities over the years.

With that kind of wealth, bitch better have a prenuptial agreement, also known as “You don’t know who you married until you get divorced.” But here’s to hoping they live a long and happy life together so the prenup is inconsequential and we don’t have to endure yet another poetic masterpiece courtesy of a dejected Rosie.

 

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