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Roundup archives: September 2007

Each weekday, Xtra.ca tells you what stories have queer people talking.

Sep 28, 2007

But where does it poop? Pet store owner buys a two-headed turtle.

John Tory makes really bad peepee jokes at a urology centre. If this is indicative of his sense of humour, I’m glad he couldn’t take a joke when I interviewed him.

Mitt Romney criticizes Democrat presidential candidates over their support for children reading books about gay couples. For comparison’s sake, let’s just note that Romney’s on record saying his favourite book is Battlefield Earth.

Sep 27, 2007

The federal budget surplus comes in at $14 billion, $5 billion more than was initially predicted. Remember when Conservatives would say that surprise surpluses were signs of dishonest fiscal management?

Revenue Canada will now collect information on high-volume sellers on Ebay. This is going to kill the profit margins on my used underwear business.

Sep 26, 2007

It’s getting to last call in the provincial election. McGuinty says he’ll accept a minority government.

Gay porn gets a gay basher off. Alleged gay basher Anthony Fortunato says he should receive a reduced sentence because gay porn on his computer is evidence that he’s secretly gay and therefore didn’t commit a hate crime.

Former gay porn idol Ryan Idol is set to make his debut on Broadway playing, um, a gay bathhouse member. I don’t have a joke here. Just go watch Idol Country now.

Sep 25, 2007

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denies there are gays in his country — it’s just like I said about cockroaches in my apartment after I had them exterminated.

Even PC candidates are criticizing Tory’s plan to fund faith-based schools. It’s too late to take this one back, isn’t it Tory?

PS. Remember when Tory was trying to distance himself from Harper? It turns out Harper’s already planning to use Tory’s campaign buses in Ontario in the event a federal election is called. Hopefully, he’ll do just as well as Tory’s doing.

Sep 24, 2007

Holy Hotness! Mormon Exposed releases a beefcake calendar of Mormon missionaries. Hot damn, I’d same-sex marry at least several of these guys.

Tom Flanagan releases list of ways for the Conservatives to trick Canadians into voting for them. Apparently, the goal is to downplay the scarier aspects of Conservatism (private health care, repeal same-sex marriage, flat tax, etc…) so that Canadians stop thinking Harper has a secret agenda. Then, when they win a majority government, they can do all the scary things they want.

The religious schools fight dominating the Ontario election comes to its logical conclusion. I’m all for abolishing Catholic schools, but can we somehow keep Catholic school uniforms?

Sep 21, 2007

A loonie in your pocket is now worth a whole US dollar. A roll of loonies in your pocket still looks like a very small erection, so don’t get any ideas.

A Christian theatre group spends $90,000 US — oh wait, that’s the same as $90,000 Canadian — denouncing D-Lister Kathy Griffin’s Emmy acceptance speech. I’m sure God was happy to see that money going to a good cause, rather than, say, feeding and sheltering the homeless.

Believe it or not, you can by toilet paper — supposedly — from the Minneapolis airport bathroom stall where Senator Larry Craig was arrested. $15 US/Canadian for a piece of gay history sounds like a great deal to me. Someone call the archives!

Sep 20, 2007

A new Xbox game stirs up controversy by including an alien lesbian sex scene. I don’t know what the fuss is about — how does anyone know that all aliens aren’t bisexual females?

The mayor of Middlesbrough, UK is calling for the city to have a vibrant gay quarter to relieve economic depression. Is there anything we magical gays can’t do?

Ian Paisley Jr, a junior minister in the Northern Ireland assembly avoids censure after saying he’s “repulsed” by gays. It’s disappointing after Ireland brought us such hot news last week.

Sep 19, 2007

Hawaii inmates sue the firm that runs their correctional facility, alleging they hire gay predators as prison guards. I’m outraged. How dare they turn my last wet dream into something disgusting.

A UK Lesbian soldier sues the Ministry Of Defence, alleging she was hounded out of the army after she married her partner. Bad move, Royal Forces.

A rather haggard-looking archbishop of Canterbury holds a “secret gay meeting” with Anglican gays. Gay people and priests in a top-secret meeting? I smell another lawsuit.

Sep 18, 2007

The ACLU rushes to the defence of defrocked gay Idaho senator Larry Craig.

A defendant in the murder of gay New York man now claims to be gay himself. This is an honest confession that in no way springs from a desire to avoid hate crime charges, at all. But just to be safe, I’d like to see him prove it.

A commissioner in Wood County, OH is outed as gay and may lose his job. It’s sad, but I can’t stop laughing that there’s a “Wood County.”

Sep 17, 2007

Doom and gloom news on the clubbing front in Orlando, FL. Worth reading for the go-go boy in the story’s photo.

Air New Zealand is planning “gay flights” running from San Francisco to Sydney for Mardi Gras, complete with drag performances, parties, and fairy wings. I would not want to be the attendant who has to clean that plane’s bathroom.

Kathy Griffin pisses of Catholics by telling Jesus to “suck it.” I blame my Catholic school education for the fact that I have no idea what it is she wants Jesus to suck.

Sep 14, 2007

Toronto’s CN Tower no longer the world’s tallest phallus. We’re gonna need a lot of rolls of quarters.

Former US Congressman Mark Foley gets off on a technicality. Also teenage boys, allege several former Congressional pages.

Nova Scotia high school students stand up against homophobia. Alright NS, you’re forgiven.

Sep 13, 2007

Ontario’s election campaignmoves to YouTube, where Tory makes McGuinty into a Simpson. Hampton has been a cartoon character for years.

The Harper government is having Canada vote against a rights declaration at the UN. Surprise, surprise…

The census reveals there are more gay couples in Calgary than in Edmonton.

Sep 12, 2007

Canada’s census information on family status comes out, shows a 30% reported increase in same-sex couples. So it’s true, all the good ones are straight or taken.

The Globe weighs in on Britney’s come back disaster. All she needs is self-esteem? She’s richer than Jesus and every gay boy on earth is in love with her. If she had any more self-esteem light wouldn’t be able to escape from her gravitational pull.

A former contestant from Top Chef was gay bashed in New York. It’s so unfair. We should be able to proclaim whether we’re tops or bottoms wherever we are and feel safe.

Sep 11, 2007

Harper tells Australia he suffers from “Senate envy.” Anything else you wanna add, Steven?

Harper also denies that his hometown is Toronto. Feeling’s mutual, Steven.

Ontario’s election campaign is officially underway. So that’s why the leaders wouldn’t go to the Egale debate on Sunday. The campaign hadn’t started yet…

Sep 10, 2007

California passes a same-sex marriage bill. Governator is expected to veto.

Go to Mexico! Learn “colourful” gay Spanish! Because nothing’s more cultural than being slurred at in a foreign language!

Two men sue their alma mater after American University in Manhattan announces in its alumni newsletter that they are married and run a fictional gay rights group. Oops. They’re hetero. They say it has nothing to do with homophobia, but I can’t see how that can be possible.

Sep 7, 2007

Morissey: The Musical? I don’t know if a lavish broadway musical based on the music of a gay icon will sell.

Blogs report Larry Wachowski (of Wachowski brothers fame), underwent sex-reassignment surgery, then quickly retract. So much for “further down the rabbit hole…”

Did Larry Craig’s toe-tapping give Minneapolis a new tourist destination? Maybe police stings aren’t all bad.

Sep 6, 2007

John Tory’s foot-in-mouth disease worsens. In fairness, he’s not the first political leader to bring up creationism while campaigning, and it did wonders for Stockwell Day

Mayoral candidates in Auckland, New Zealand square off in a debate before the city’s gay community. Ahem. Are you listening, Dalt, John, and Howard?

And a septuagenarian has never heard the term “LGBT” before.

Sep 5, 2007

Argentina will host an international gay football (soccer) tournament later this month. It represents the first serious chance for a Canadian soccer team to place in the top twelve in international competition.

GLAAD launches a PSA campaign in which “celebrities” like Jerry O’Connell call on straights to be allies of queer people. Kinda gives a whole new twist to My Secret Identity.

Sep 4, 2007

As most of Canada celebrated Labour Day with barbecues and air shows, Vancouver’s city workers remind the rest of the country what it’s all about, much to the detriment of the city’s arts community. Maybe we should have an Artists Day?

Instead, Dalton McGuinty promises to give Ontario a mid-February “Family Day” if he’s reelected. As if the obvious pandering hadn’t already reached ridiculous levels, finance minister Sorbara says the province can do this because the economy is strong enough to handle the extra day off. I guess all those lost manufacturing jobs are imaginary.

Sometimes when you search “anal” in Google news, interesting things pop up.

Previous Months

August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007