Toronto Diary
1 min

Russian politician tries to ban sex

Because trying to ban homosexuality wasn’t enough, a Russian politician is currently trying to ban sex. Literally any form of sex that isn’t government-mandated procreation. 

Feel free to swirl that one around a bit. Sniff its fragrant bouquet. Take a sip, swish around in your mouth, and spit it out. What does it taste like to you? Does it taste like PURE UNADULTERATED BATSHIT INSANITY? Because that’s what it is.

According to the The Moscow News, Zhirinovsky proposed the radical restrictions in a live interview with Business FM Radio. “We need a different formula,” he said. “Smoking is to be banned everywhere but in your own car if you close all the windows and stay there alone as well as in your own apartment if there is nobody else there. Shut all the windows and get yourself poisoned."

"We need eating restrictions. Our people are overfed and too fat. Sex should also be restricted to one time per quarter through issuing licenses, quotas or coupons,” Zhirinovsky added. “People have too much sex, they eat, smoke and drink too much and die 20 years earlier. Everywhere – in Europe, America or Japan – they live longer. Why should we perish?” [SOURCE]

Wait, is this guy just rattling off a list of things that annoy him in the hopes that they’ll magically disappear? Because holy shit, this is either hysterically funny or really terrifying. This is exactly why you don’t let people who know absolutely fucking nothing about sex try to legislate it. Because eventually, you just end up with some A-hole trying to subvert human sexuality in favour of turning their country into a baby production facility. 

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