4 min

Scene roundup: Out in the city

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times

It was the best of times and the worst of times. Here are my best of and worst of the latest in Toronto. And please, people, no lawsuits; it’s just my opinion.

Most anticipated club. That keeps going and going and going; please stand by.

Over the past year we’ve seen outlandish changes in our scene. The most anticipated being the forever prolonged opening of Peter Gatien’s Circa nightclub. The most anticipated wait, may be capped off with Michael Alig spreading his wings in Toronto. As he wrote to me from jail: “Like Peter, I, too, believe New York is done and has been for sometime now.

“I am allowed to come into Canada, but not live there, yet,” he states. “I would love to come down to Toronto. I miss Peter a lot and wish him all the success in the world.” The most anticipated development of the year goes to Gatien, who, to be sure, will captivate his Canadian audience. Peter, all eyes are on you.

Best new renovation on Church St. Vice nightclub (the former Bar 501) recently launched a new Friday night with the help of legendary club promoter Steve Iverson and John Walke, editor and chief of Hombre magazine. This place is innovative and creative and you’ll never know what to expect. One night I was there two boys took a shower together in the middle of the dancefloor (yes, there is a shower in the middle of the floor). It’s dark, lustful and has just the right element of sexual tension. This refurbished space must be seen. This isn’t no 501. Out with the old, in with the new.

Promoter’s wet dream. This award goes to Goodhandy’s (120 Church St). It won’t take long before they all catch on and ride the train. This venue puts the “C” in cabaret… and the “V” in vive le fête. It must be seen. If you can dream it, it can be done here. Woot woot.

The most talked about DJ performance. Labour Of Love at the Guvernment, tent area. We were all minding are own business, doing what most people do at 7am — cry and try to find Red Bull. When all of the sudden over the loud speakers blared: “My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack.” I turned around to see DJ Princess Superstar riding one leg up on the DJ booth, gyrating, all attention on her crotch area. She stood on top of the beverage table assuming a power position, while acting out every part of the song. All this, while little boys on E tried to reposition their crotch areas. Liberation, my friends, is a wonderful thing, especially when you’re the last act on the bill and it’s 7am in the morning. Memories to last a lifetime!

Your Momma And Papa warned you about. Keith Cole, my friend takes the cake and runs with it, yet again. He is one of the brilliant envelope-pushers of our day. He puts the “P” in pee pee in a cup. See, if you people weren’t so prudish, would you be offended so easily? Maybe it’s you who needs to change. Wink. Wink.

Putting the “A” back in advocacy. This goes to Rob Dyer who, above all else, cares more about the cause making profit, than profit for no cause. He is a role model. He has created a charity called Skate4Cancer (, where he and his friends throw various events throughout the city and now in almost every major city in the US and Canada. His events are in a new and original format. Which makes people want to attend, as we all know a lot of various fundraising efforts can be stale and quite dry. He, for the record, donates all profits to various cancer organizations. In the last year, he has accomplished a lot by making the youth of today want to care and want to see the world change, one person at a time. He’s been on road with The Warped Tour and will soon tour with his message with Alexis-onfire and The Cancer Bats. Please support him and the cure any way you can. “We may not raise enough money to change the world, but we may be able to raise enough people to change the world.”

Funniest rumour. Goes to Fab magazine’s social columnist Rolyn Chambers. I’ve been hearing through the long grapevine that he is leaving the magazine to pursue other engagements. Or is he being pushed out by the new editor? Rolyn, please don’t leave. You and Nina are the only reason I read your publication after Mitchel Raphael left. The publication became, well, less then stellar. Toilet paper anyone?

The reborn “it” thing. This trend has become the new “it” thing — if you could ever call it that. Butch gays hate flamers. They are trying to distance themselves from the stereotype. This is so old it’s newer than new. It’s become ever more apparent, recently. Friends of mine who are gay are calling other feminine homos “fags.” Um, slow it down. Ain’t no one going to have a revolution if we ain’t all in this together. No one wins on this one. Are the west-end queers trying to distance themselves even further from the ghetto? Don’t say you don’t hear and notice it.

Best community/appreciation. This is a double award going out to Peaches who never forgot her roots. During her concert a while back she had a group of Toronto kids perform as her backup dancers. Seen strutting across the stage in no particular order: John Caffery, Matt Thomas, Paige Graitland, Andrea Joyce, Alex, Gentlemen Reg, Brandon and a handful of other kids. When all was said and done after the show, Peaches, JD Samson and Samantha Maloney all headed over to Will Munro’s resto/bar The Beaver. Now that’s community appreciation.

Sorry I couldn’t fit in all my faves and worst ofs onto one page. Anyhow, you should know by now, if you have one person at your event, you kind of suck and should assume you’ll never win best of anything. However, if have more than two, then you’re on the right track (ugh).

I am off. I have to run into the night; the Toronto International Film Festival is happening. Till next time we meet on the dancefloor, in your mom’s bed or in a coffeeshop having a heated debate over some of the choices picked for Cocktail Confession’s Best Of.

I am out.