Tomorrow is Perez Hilton's birthday!!! Are you as excited as…umm…somebody? Well, the "Queen of All Media" expects you to be, especially if you're a corporate sponsor. On my birthday, I sometimes get money from my parents. Clearly, I'm going about this all wrong.
But at least I didn't stick my parents with a 60-foot penis for a year. Now that's shameless!
Like Canadian Heritage Minister James Moore, who somehow turned a grilling over his Conservative government's refusal to help fund the CBC into a public plea to Canadians to vote Tory! He's filmed from the chest up because the camera wasn't big enough for his balls!
How about the New Jersey police who investigated nude photos of a 14-year-old girl posted on the Internet? Turns out the girl posted them herself. This being America, of course, the shameless hussy was not grounded but brought up on child pornography charges. In a related story, a teen caught smoking behind the gym was beaten to death with a fire extinguisher.
But a little shamelessness is a good thing — a new study reveals you'll need to look someone in the eye for over 8 seconds to fall in love, unless it's an oven. I was deeply unnerved by this new Quizno's ad, in which a sexy toaster oven keeps calling my name:
A TV commercial extolling man-oven love? You know the word…