No, seriously. What the shit? I specifically moved to Toronto because everyone here speaks English, and I figured that it was a safe enough place. I mean, it’s situated comfortably in the middle of the continent, it’s not on any major fault lines, the only nearby body of water is a lake, and we haven’t really been hit with any sort of hurricane or tornado in the past couple years.
And then an earthquake hits us. How in the hell did that happen? We barely even get any snow in Toronto, and now you’re telling me that at any moment the Earth might open up and swallow us whole? This is total CRAP. But to alleviate the situation, here’s Patton Oswalt summing it up in pretty much the funniest way possible on his Twitter account:
Oops! 5.8 mag earthquake I just felt was centered in No Va, where I grew up. I need to apologize. When I was a teen, me and four other friends banished a spider-demon named Thra’axx in a chymic cylinder. Guess who forgot to remind the others to repaint the doom-rim with hobo blood today? #mybad