I just went to a party full of dykes’ kids and of course they were all cute and funny and lovable. It was great to see them. Their parents teach them tolerance and other good values, and they dress them better than most of the little pink and blue things you see around town.
But when and why did the overwhelming majority of my dyke friends join the ranks of those who think it’s a great idea to bring more children into this world? Why are we celebrating inseminations, pregnancies and births like they’re automatically wonderful events?
I admit this is complicated.
I’m pleased when my friends, who’ve been trying to get pregnant for years, finally succeed. I love them and I want them to be happy. It gets a little murkier when I start to think about the big picture. We’re on an overpopulated, polluted planet run by crazy, power-mad corporations; not a good place for future generations, let alone current ones.
Yet thousands of dykes are busy scanning catalogues, picking the perfect sperm donors and popping out babies. They seem no more concerned than anyone else about the fact that overpopulation is severely damaging our planet, or that future generations will have less economic and physical security than we do.
It makes sense that we queers fiercely defend our right to bear children because we’ve had to fight for so long to be considered fit parents, but shouldn’t we question the rights of everyone, gay or straight, to have children?
Dykes I respect have said things to me like, “Well, it’s better that we have babies than Christian fundamentalists,” or “It’s kids like ours that will save the world,” or “Adopted kids are too fucked up. I gotta have my own.”
These statements confuse me. I think about all the amazing activists I know who were brought up by Christian fundamentalists or other kinds of conservative parents. The fruit often does fall far from the tree. I wonder why we assume that the people already in existence can’t save the world, and it just isn’t true that adopted kids are always more damaged than other kids.
It seems to me lately that questioning baby production is completely taboo, that having kids is beyond right or wrong, beyond thought, beyond debate. Can I just say it might be time to bring some political discussion to the dyke baby boom?