Xtra
9 min

Switch hitter

While Alberta slowly, painfully shuffled its way into the 20th century yesterday, the big story was the defection of five-term Republican Senator Arlen Specter to the Democratic party. Apparently, his man-crush on Barack Obama proved irresistable.  I smell a bromance!

There were, of course, other theories.  Lots of them.  All day.  How, how, they cried, could Specter abandon his conservative principles?  Well, here's three reasons:

1)  Republicans are out-of-touch

A new CBS poll reveals that 42% of Americans approve of same-sex marriage — an increase of nine points in just one month!  Republicans can cry all they want but the majority of the US public likes the gays:

2)  Republicans are dumb

How else to explain a study that found conservatives believing that satirist Stephen Colbert is only pretending to pretend to be conservative?  Apparently, Colbert's celebrations of FOX News designed to mock FOX News are secretly celebrating FOX News!

3) Republicans are absolutely full-on batshit insane

Their "arguments" against gay marriage…

 
…can only remind one of this:
 

So if you want to know why Specter jumped ship, there it is — he knows he will never be elected again so as long as he's teamed up with the kind of people who think two men at a wedding will bring about the coming of the Sumerian shape-shifting god of destruction Gozer the Traveler

But yes, that is of course insane!  No real Republican is going to make such a wild leap between hypothetical disasters and US politics, right?

Oh.  Nevermind.