Toronto Diary
1 min

Teen chlamydia is all the rage

In related news, I have no idea how kids talk these days. Something about Justin Bieber and Call of Duty and that one mopey bitch who sang on SNL . . . fucking teenagers. SPEAK A REAL LANGUAGE. (I am 21, by the way.)

Anyway, a new infographic posted to MTV Clutch (yes, MTV, the fine people who brought you Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant! There is nothing ironic about that at all) details how a lack of sex education is correlated to dumb teenagers not using condoms and subsequently becoming pregnant and/or infected by chlamydia.

So remember, kids, it never hurts to wear a condom. It does, however, hurt to pee when you have chlamydia. And I’m not even going to try to tell you how much it hurts to push something the size of a football out of a bodily orifice that is nowhere near big enough to accommodate something like that. I’ll give you a hint though: it hurts so much, you might accidentally shit yourself in front of a room full of doctors and not even know it. True story!

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