There's nothing like starting the morning sobbing. I'm going to have a headache and puffy eyes for the rest of the day, but every time my head throbs I'll be thankful, because at least I'm alive to feel the pain. I try to be grateful for the hurt because I think whenever I suffer the most, I learn the most.
I sometimes wonder who I'd be if I hadn't been bullied throughout school, and in some ways my life would be better — I'd have more confidence and self-esteem for example. But in many other ways, I'd be worse off. I wouldn't be as sensitive, compassionate or determined to fight my way through bigotry and come out on the other end. I wouldn't be a survivor. I wouldn't be as smart. I probably wouldn't be an advocate and wouldn't work for a gay publication. I would have way less material to write about and would, overall, be a person with less depth and life experience. So, I'm thankful for the bullshit, because it's made me more of a human being and because it taught me from a young age that everything in life (the good, bad and ugly) has a beginning and an end.
Kenneth James Weishuhn, from Primghar, Iowa, killed himself Saturday, April 14, after coming out as gay a few months ago and being bullied in school. His friend Brandi made a YouTube tribute for him, which is as beautiful as he was:
If you're driving drunk and you hit someone with your car, killing them, you will be charged with manslaughter. You murdered a person. If you bully someone and that bullying drives them to suicide, isn't that murder too? It's murder in cold blood. Driving drunk, you might accidentally hit someone with your car, but you don't accidentally open your mouth and call someone a worthless faggot.