Thank you, Brad Pitt

And not just for the wet dreams.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may not be able to hold off on getting married until everyone has the right to wed the person they love, but really, who can blame them? America’s “evolution” towards equality is sad not just because they feel the tedious need to evolve into doing the right thing, but because it’s taking them so fucking long to do it. Change takes time, I guess. But time is money and the money is mine Brad Pitt’s — which, along with being one of the gay community’s most outspoken allies, is how he’s trying to steer America in the right direction.

In support of the Human Rights Campaign, Brad is putting his chequebook where his heart is:

“It’s unbelievable to me that people’s lives and relationships are literally being voted on in a matter of days,” Brad says on the campaign website. “In Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington, voters will go to the polls to decide if gay and lesbian couples – our friends and neighbors – are worthy of the same protections as everyone else. But that’s the system we have and I’m not going to back down from the fight for loving and committed couples to have the ability to marry. Especially when groups like the Human Rights Campaign are fighting these battles day-in and day-out. So, here’s what I’m going to do. If you make a contribution to these ballot measure campaigns in the next 24 hours, I’ll double it – every dollar of the way, up to $100,000.”

Nothing is sexier than a man who can write a $100,000 cheque without skipping a beat, especially when it’s for a good cause! When Brad Pitt calls us his “friends and neighbors,” I think he means it, and I for one would like to thank him. I’d prefer the thanks to include whipped cream and my tongue, but I guess a donation will have to suffice. Actually, it more than suffices. Making Brad spend money because of me kind of makes me feel like his whore . . .