Toronto Diary
1 min

The award for best mother ever goes to . . .

Holy Christ, next time some a-hole says that queer folks have no business raising kids because something something something out-of-context-biblical-bullshit, remember this story about Sarah Burge, the mother who gave her seven-year-old daughter (SEVEN!) a 7,000-pound gift certificate for liposuction. You know, because your biggest concern when you’re in Grade 1 is whether you’re ever going to lose those love handles.

Little Poppy Burge received the gift in her Christmas stocking after her mother, a 51-year-old plastic-surgery addict known as the Human Barbie, decided it would “come in handy."

"I put the voucher in her stocking — there’s nothing wrong with that,” she said. 

"She asks for surgery all the time. She wants to look good, and lipo is one of those procedures that will always come in handy."

What. The fucking. Fuck. Holy shit, how has your own government not forcibly tied you down to a table and removed your sex organs to keep you from ruining another child? Look, I’ll be the first to say that parents need to stop showering their kids with excessive compliments, else they turn their kids into reality TV stars, but I think this might be a motherfucking marathon in the opposite direction. “My mother gave me a 7,000-pound gift certificate for lipo when I was still in grade school” is what you tell your court-appointed therapist when you’re asked you why you spelled “HELL IS HERE” on the walls of your rape dungeon using the blood of the children’s birthday clown you murdered. What I’m trying to say is “Congratulations, Sarah Burge, you have set the gears in motion to make your daughter a serial arsonist."

(H/T The Daily Mail

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