The best everything of the year ever

Did you know that bloggers know what’s good for you better than you do? That’s probably not true, but that’s not going to stop me from pretending it is by dumping this best-of list on you!

BEST MOVIE

Drive

It’s Ryan Gosling being drop-dead sexy and badass for two straight hours. As if that isn’t enough, it also features Christina Hendricks’ giant boobs of joy and wonder and a scene featuring someone’s head getting stomped into pudding in an elevator. Also: I want that scorpion jacket.

Honorable mentions: Bridesmaids, The Weekend, The Artist

BEST ALBUM

Feist’s Metals

Am I playing favourites on this one? Maybe a little, but I still count this as an underappreciated gem that was somehow even more complex and beautiful than The Reminder.

Honorable mentions: Adele’s 21, St Vincent’s Strange Mercy, Drake’s Take Care

BEST SINGLE

Adele’s “Someone Like You”

Who are you kidding? You know all the lyrics to this song, and when it comes on you will even do that thing where you look out the window and feel all romantically tragic, as if your life were an Academy Award–winning movie and you’re being played by Meryl Streep. I already went to great lengths to talk about how great this song is, but goddammit, it is just so fucking good.

Honorable mentions: Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games,” St Vincent’s “Cruel,” Childish Gambino’s “Freaks and Geeks”

BEST NEW TV SHOW

Suburgatory

We already know how great Breaking Bad and Community are, but at this point, if you aren’t already watching them, you have some catching up to do. If you want a show you can pick up now, go with Suburgatory, a sadly neglected comedy that lands somewhere between Juno and Pushing Daisies. Subversively cute and quirky, and it also has Jeremy Sisto as the resident dilf.

Honorable mentions: Picnicface, American Horror Story, Game of Thrones

BEST VIDEO GAME

Portal 2

If you want to know just how good Portal 2 is, consider this: even people who have never played a video game in their life love Portal 2. If I could, I would marry this game. I would have tiny half-human/half-platform-puzzler babies. It also gave the world what is quite possibly the best monologue ever about exploding lemons.

 

Honorable mentions: Arkham City, Skyrim, Shadows of the Damned

SEXIEST MAN OF 2011

Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling Ryan Gosling Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling? Ryan Gosling! RYAN. GOSLING. (…ryangosling.)

Honorable Goslings: Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling

SEXIEST WOMAN OF 2011

Christina Hendricks

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs. Whoever tells you they wouldn’t motorboat Christina Hendricks in a heartbeat, slap them in the face, because they are liars.

Honorable mentions: Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Ryan Gosling

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