Sex
4 min

The Cock Carnival and other naughty competitions

A review of sexy contests run by adult entertainment companies

The second-place winner of the Cream Face competition. Credit: Naked Sword

Update:  The Cock Carnival winners have been chosen! Winners include some googley-eyed foreskin, Nintendo’s button-nose Mario and a few notable Disney characters – guaranteed to ruin your childhood forever.   

PinGay user SizeQueen69 took home the grand prize for his creative use of penis cutout art — presented in animated GIF format, no less

***

Cum one, cum all — welcome . . . to the cock carnival!

That’s right, thanks to Pingay, the official Cock Carnival competition is here.

Pingay is a free gay-porn site that allows users to collect and share their favourite online porn collections on “boards,” and users can like or repin (repost) what they see. (Interested in knowing more about Pingay?)

But how does the competition work?

It’s simple: dress up your dick in a creative, fun way to create a board with your wildest cock character, categorize it as Cock Carnival Competition and upload.

The more likes and repins you get from other users, the more votes you have. The contest closes Nov 30.

Now, no carnival would be complete without prizes: in addition to a year’s subscription to Men.com, the grand-prize winner will receive a Fleshjack pack, which includes a Fleshjack Flight MD, Fleshjack Shower Mount, Fleshjack Freak dildo and three bottles of lube.

Two runners-up will receive a month’s subscription to Men.com.

For more information, visit the contest page.

While you’re waiting for the metallic paint to dry on your balls, here are a few other X-rated contests that have been created by adult entertainment companies, many of them annual.

Serving face for NakedSword

Porn production company Naked Sword recently presented a new series, Frat House Cream.

To celebrate its release, Naked Sword hosted a competition for users to serve their best face – cream face, that is.

The contest was simple – recreate the movie’s poster using your own “cream” face. Creativity was highly recommended and entries could be sexy, scary or slutty.

Voting closed on Oct 2, and the winners have been just been announced, so go and see who served the best creamface!

The grand-prize winner received an iPad Mini and a one-year subscription to Naked Sword.

Fleshjack: Buy Brent Corrigan’s penis to win a date with the real thing

Fleshjack is a sex-toy company that specializes in creating silicone replicas of our favourite sexual areas.

But not just any dick will do – many notable pornstars have partnered with Fleshjack to create exact silicone replicas of mouths, dicks and assholes. How they manage to mould the inside of a pornstar’s anus is beyond us; suffice to say it is an amazing time to be alive.

Fleshjack partnered with pornstar Brent Corrigan (or is it Fox Ryder? Sean Paul Lockhart? The man changes names more than Cher changes stage outfits) to create duplicates of the young star’s moneymakers.

In December 2012, the company offered a contest to win a date with Corrigan. The contest was straightforward — buy a Brent Corrigan Fleshjack to prepare yourself for your date with the real thing (imagine how much easier dating would be if you could have a replica of your date’s genitalia prior to meeting).

After, contest participants were to send an email to the company, with the subject line “I want a date!” and include a 500-word essay on why they wanted to date Corrigan.

In the end, a man named Michael won the contest. He attended the Cyber Socket award show with Corrigan, as well as a dinner date afterward. Find out if Michael got any after-dinner action.

Squirt.Org: Cam and Cum

The Cam and Cum contest is a popular online competition for those who like to fuck or jerk off on camera. Members are encouraged to post their sexiest “home movies” for a chance to win $1,000.

“We saw some incredible entrants over the last few years, from superheroes to watermelon-and-giant-cucumber play to auto-fellatio and so much more!” a Squirt spokesman said. “We want our members to push the boundaries. As we like to say here at Squirt – ‘No Holes Barred.’”

View the sexy winners of the 20112012 and 2013 competitions.

Lovehoney: Design a sex toy

LoveHoney is one of the UK’s top online sex stores, selling everything from dick-pumps to gladiator sex dolls (we’ll take four, please).

The company occasionally hosts a contest to “design your own sex toy.” Entrants can submit under three categories – sex toys for men, sex toys for women and sex toys for couples.

The winner of each category is awarded £1000 ($1400 Canadian) and the judges’ top pick is awarded an extra £2000 ($2800).

Among the judges of the competition is Fifty Shades of Grey writer EL James. 

In addition to the initial cash prize, the winner is also awarded royalties on their design. The contest’s previous winner, Trevor Murphy, earned more than $165,000 in royalties for his design, “The Sqweel.”

“When I entered the competition I was a struggling artist living in the Irish countryside,” Murphy says. “Winning the competition and having a toy on the market has allowed me to move to the awesome city of Toronto . . . My life has changed a lot!”

Entry to this year’s competition is now closed, so stay tuned to see what designs are chosen. Personally, we’re hoping for some Avengers dildos . . .

Men.com: Write your fantasy porn, then watch it come to life

Men.com occasionally hosts a contest for fans to write their dream porn scenarios.

Participants simply send a one- to two-paragraph synopsis of their fantasy scene and submit it to contest@men.com.

In addition to script, writers can also suggest specific stars for the scene. If your pornstar database goes blank, writers can also describe what their ideal cast should look like.

Winners of the contest will get their dream script turned into reality and a one-year membership to men.com. Here are the winners of the 20112012 and 2013 contests.