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The gay war on Christmas

Forget Syria or Afghanistan; the real war that everyone should be worried about is “The War on Christmas,” which is devastating our planet this holiday season. Much like “The War on Terror,” it is a myth created by an over-the-hill rightwing bigot and fear-monger. Oh, and but of course, it can all be blamed on the gays. That’s right: I hope the wish list you sent Santa includes an M60, because according to Bill O’Reilly, the gays have taken Christmas to the battlefield, and no stocking, glass of eggnog or candy cane will ever be safe again.

When The O’Reilly Factor’s guest, Imus in the Morning producer Bernard McGuirk, said that the war on Christmas was being instigated by “abortion and the gay rights agenda,” O’Reilly quickly concurred.

"I absolutely agree 100 percent,” he said. “The diminishment of Christianity is the target, and Christmas is the vehicle because the secularists know the opposition to their agenda — legalized drugs is in that as well — comes primarily from the Judeo-Christian traditionalist people.”

Poor homos. We put the ho in holidays and still can’t catch a break!

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