Blogs & Columns
2 min

The hills are alive with the sound of new money

The Drewitt-Barlows: The family that designs each other stays together! 

Two daddies are about to drop $100K, and they want you to know it.

Sorry to get your hopes up, fellow gold diggers, but these daddies aren’t of the sugar variety so much as shitty diapers and drool. And the $100K isn’t for breakfast, lunch or dinner at Tiffany’s but a guarantee that their next designer babies will be girls so they can spoil them with “pink Prada dresses.” Today, my life hit a new low and shall forever hence be remembered as the day I became jealous of EGGS.

One of the first same-sex couples to be recognized as legally married in Britain, Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow, have paid $100,000 for rare IVF treatment in California because gender selection is not legal in the UK. Their sperm will fertilize three eggs in a surrogate, with a high probability that at least one, if not all three, of the triplets will be female. I’m not sure how it works, but for $100K, I’d expect my baby to have 32 karat diamonds for eyes.

The couple already has five stolen Baby Gap models children: Aspen, Saffron, Jasper, Dallas and Orlando. 

These queens have too much money and time on their hands. They make me sick. And not just because they named their daughter after a character on Absolutely Fabulous. But because they’re giving interviews about how they’re going to “recycle” one of Saffron’s $100,000 necklaces that “she doesn’t wear anymore” into individual pieces for the babies. Oh, and Saffron is also generously passing over her $5,000 crib from Harrods. The bitch doesn’t need a bed! She’s so used to it, now she even sleepwalks all over her fathers.