Toronto Diary
1 min

The Hunger Games democracy

This weekend, Justin Trudeau and Patrick Brazeau stepped into the ring or octogon or whatever geometric form people fight in for the sake of a charity boxing ring. I’m not sure why either, but it did give us this super-sweet shot of Brazeau in a nanner-hammock.

See? Everyone wins. Except Brazeau, who got his ass kicked, because fuck you, science and common sense. Seriously, the outcome of skinny little Justin Trudeau punching Patrick Brazeau into confused pudding breaks so many laws of physics and gravity that even creationists are looking at this going, “Wait, what the fuck? Jesus should not allow this."

But it did get me thinking . . . What if we made all our politicians beat the crap out of each other? No, really. The biggest flaw of democracy is that when you open a position of power to whoever wants it most, you will inevitably end up with sociopaths and megalomaniacs.

So why not turn Canada’s democracy into a Hunger Game? Just like the premise of the hit book and movie series. Why not make all the power-hungry people who want to run Canada compete in a death match for power? I know that sounds at best moronic and at worst a nihilistic bow to our own collective id, but really, if we made our politicians fight each other in a death match for the sake of attaining a position of power, would we be any worse off than we actually are?

Think about it. 

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