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The Lion, the Witch and the Whoredrobe….

 

Before eternal winter set in upon the land of Narnia, I imagine the
following gentleman caller enjoyed long midnight dances, sexy hunting
parties, feasting, and treasure trail seeking.

His
many likes include lampposts, fauns, nymphs, dryads, Red Dwarfs,
wayward British children disguised as messiahs, and talking animals,
especially Mr. and Mrs. Beaver.

His dislikes include Turkish Delight, long walks through the snowy forest, anal fisting and being turned into stone.
Don't
let his come-hither smile and whimsical dress fool you. It is Mr.
Tumnus in a disguise. In a shocking role reversal, he has left Narnia
for the red-carpet pleasures of MTV. I, for one, don't want anything to
do with him. Back into the closet..er, "wardobe"…with you foul
he-beast.