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The portrait of Anderson Cooper

“The Middle East is truly the Anderson Cooper’s face of geopolitical disputes in that in defiance of all appeals of reason and human decency, it never fucking changes,” John Oliver said on Last Week Tonight about the CNN news anchor’s age-defying complexion.

While looking at photos of him covering the Middle East over the past several years, Oliver went so far as to suggest that Cooper is the Dorian Gray of cable news.

“How does he still look the same?” Oliver asks. “Somehow in five years this situation has not improved, and [Cooper’s] face has lost none of its virile yet tender magnetism.”

Although your mind may be jumping to the place of Botox or Restylane, Cooper does not need something as common as cosmetic surgery to be the prettiest silver princess in prime time. And he certainly doesn’t need a portrait hanging in his attic to take on the physical manifestations of his sins. He doesn’t have any! Don’t you know he’s the Patron Saint of Giggles?

Cooper looks so good for one reason and one reason only: his mother is the legendary Gloria Vanderbilt, who at 90 years old looks like she could be his sister: