Blogs & Columns
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The Vatican’s priests aren’t just fucking kids?

I knew Catholicism was gay as fuck the first time Jesus Christ gave me a boner. There’s something to be said about a religion whose idol is a naked man in a BDSM pose . . . Needless to say, my religious upbringing had a huge effect on my life.

The Vatican is so gay that now they’re investing in our real estate.

It’s being reported that the Catholic church spent $30 million on units in Via Carducci, a building in Rome that also happens to be the location of the biggest gay bathhouse on the European continent, Europa Multiclub (EMC). The club hosts a weekly bear party, and there’s a video on their website where a large hairy man strips naked, then changes into a priest’s outfit . . .

Forgive me, father daddy! 

Cardinal Ivan Dias, who is called “the prince of the church” and has said before that gays can be “cured,” owns a decadent 12-room apartment in the building. He will be voting to elect the new pope at the Sistine Chapel tomorrow. There are 18 other apartments owned by the Vatican in the building, many of which house priests.

This can’t be what it looks like. No way this proves homosexuality is rampant in the hierarchy of the church. The photos on EMC’s website just don’t fit. They’re grown men! And everyone knows Catholic priests like ‘em young . . .